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Sunku 5 Workshop

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Thu, 2018-02-15 19:20

Sadness
Feels like crap
In this sunken place

Joyless
Is as a
withered dead rose

Spiritless
Have no zeal
Under dark clouds
—-
The sunsets
And it rises
Both are beautiful

Storms rage
Hides the sun
Nature just waits

Roses
Strives and grows
Strong among thorns

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Workshop: 
Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form

Comments

IRiz

Sat, 2018-02-17 12:37

IRiz's picture
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Oh I missed these interesting poems.
They smell like thunderstorms and roses.
They feel like separate creations and yet are connected by the symbol of rose. The volnerable, immanent and short lived beauty.
Thank you for sharing.

I think that we might want to discuss here
how we break the lines.
The most common way of doing it is when you want to pause.
So I would not leave a particle to hang at the end of the line. Even if it destroys the count. The ultimate goal is to create a poem a perfect syllabi progression.

IRiz

Barbara Writes

Mon, 2018-02-19 16:39

Barbara Writes's picture
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My forte is short poetry writing. It’s why I love this workshop. SunKu is new to me. So break the lines how you view it. I inculcate it in my poetry style. I’m not educated in Poetry at all. I just write what I feel.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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