Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
hedgehogfriend
My friend
is trying
not to scratch me.
But still
his feet stomp,
metal thorns ring.
He can't
hear white noise
of my poems.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
raj
Tue, 2018-02-13 05:49
I liked the Title as well as
I liked the Title as well as the content of this poem...would "whistle" be a good replacement to "white"..I recon whistle is a monosyllable...just a thought...even white is good..
raj (sublime_ocean)
IRiz
Tue, 2018-02-13 08:43
The replacement would change
The replacement would change the meaning
White noise means something that exist on the background like a rustle of leaves and sounds of rain or wind.
IRiz
raj
Tue, 2018-02-13 14:41
Oh Ok...makes sense to me now
Oh Ok...makes sense to me now...
raj (sublime_ocean)
weirdelf
Thu, 2018-02-15 22:27
Sometimes
Sometimes
when treading
carefully on eggs
poor lone
echidna's
efforts are futile
perhaps
it's better
to show your nature.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
IRiz
Thu, 2018-02-15 23:28
I agree.
I agree.
Thank you for a poetic reply!
IRiz