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SunKu 4 Workshop

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Thu, 2018-02-15 03:47

Our love
Like winter’s
Dead twiggy trees

Two ships
In the night
Missed each other

The search
For our love
Halted long ago

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Workshop: 
Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form

Comments

IRiz

Thu, 2018-02-15 08:37

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I was thinking about how many stanzas are good for Sunku. Three felt somehow the best.
By writing longer stream you add a dreamy, contemplating touch to the form.
It is a free form and I respect your choice.
I like the way you increase the size of the gap between your characters
Thank you for sharing your poem

IRiz

Barbara Writes

Fri, 2018-02-16 01:36

Barbara Writes's picture
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When I write I get carried away when it’s a new form.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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