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Cold Valentine Kisses [Sunku Workshop]
Winter
opens her
darkest closet
Silence
awakens
intimate sighs
Stirring
wailing storms
lulling within
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage:
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Comments
IRiz
Wed, 2018-02-14 10:52
I feel you are perfecting the
I feel you are perfecting the art of Sunku with every poem you write as if you leave a trace of footsteps on the snow that is ready to melt. Soon it will be gone, but the white islands of pressed snow will lead.
Sorry for poetic nonsense, but you put me in the mood.
That is what a good poem does to people. So I think you have successfully completed the learning curve.
IRiz
raj
Wed, 2018-02-14 12:17
Thanks for the read and
Thanks for the read and encouragement.
Your poetic comment "you leave a trace of footsteps on the snow that is ready to melt. Soon it will be gone, but the white islands of pressed snow will lead" is not at all non sense....I am happy it was inspired by the poem.
Your comment about learning curve is like a dose of tonic and will make me yearn to learn more...
Thanks again
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentlovedly
Wed, 2018-02-14 12:28
well you are true sunku poets
throw me out
will you
I will post more Lovedlu
equally confusing too
but my free style would do
raj
Wed, 2018-02-14 12:31
never undermine yourself
never undermine yourself Lovedly...keep on trying...I am sure you will come good in this form sonner or later..
Cheers!
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentlovedly
Wed, 2018-02-14 12:37
thanks more later
than sooner
try a LOVEDLU also
will you
or just lemme pass by
Any thing that is creative
one need not justify
let a reader's vision in the wilderness fly
stars will seemingly fly
and say g'bye
IRiz
Wed, 2018-02-14 12:45
not goodbye but until later
not goodbye
but until later
IRiz
lovedly
Wed, 2018-02-14 13:43
yeah
I do see