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For The Faithful

Submitted by alidzain on Mon, 2018-02-12 22:22

For The Faithful

In this world
where love can be a lie,
sometimes sacrifices
end with a painful goodbye.

Must we turn our faces away,
allowing despair to steal our smiles
when it will lead us astray
and leave us with a taste so vile.

Why let heartbreakers win
after they have offered treachery?
Leave them with their sin
for they don't have honesty.

Show kindness only to the faithful,
then you'll find darkness leaving
as new paths will lead your way
where smiles and laughters are dancing.

Muhammad Khalid bin Zainul
13.2.2018 11:05am
Singapore

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

raj

Tue, 2018-02-13 05:56

Hi Alid,

Sentiments nicely expressed in these verses...A few typos i would like to bring to your notice..

In this world
where love can be a lie,
sometimes sacrifices
ends [end]with a painful goodbye.

Must we turned [turn] our faces away,
allowing despair to steal our smiles
when it will lead us astray
and left [leave] us with a taste so vile.

regards...

raj (sublime_ocean)

alidzain

Tue, 2018-02-13 10:37

alidzain's picture

Thank you for the read and pointing out the typos. Much appreciated. Alid

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