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Feel Up

Submitted by scooby on Fri, 2018-01-05 17:42

“I feel quite down.”
My best friend said wearing a frown
So I fixed up a coffee cup
Then I told him “ try to feel up!”

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
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Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I got the idea for this poem form shel Silverstein’s falling up.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Mon, 2018-02-05 07:43

weirdelf's picture
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Telling a person who is feeling down is like telling someone to grow back a leg.

Unless it was a lewd suggestion [grins]

Then again perhaps there is something zen here.
Did you sit quietly before him, patiently repairing a broken cup, in the process enhancing its beauty with its flaws?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

scribbler

Tue, 2018-02-06 00:54

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it's lewd...that's why it's good/funny lol

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