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Welcome, but...

Submitted by Geezer on Sun, 2018-01-21 21:03

There will be no faith
for those that enter here
No one wants to watch you
make a fool of yourself
Cerebral assassins will hunt you down
for being one step away
from being an imbecile
There is no truth except theirs
And they will not tolerate
any deviation from
their perception of it
So, stay in the shadows
and do not reveal yourselves
or you may be next
to be skewered and roasted
over the fires of zealotry

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

lonlyhrtsclub13

Sun, 2018-01-21 21:14

lonlyhrtsclub13's picture

Well said, Gee. Independence limited...only if you agree with the masses, if not, public flogging and defamation of character it is....

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Captain

Mon, 2018-01-22 00:49

Captain's picture

You got me wondering whom exactly your talking about. My imagination can fill in a whole lot. This poem has a nice rhythm to it. The only spot I got a little hung up was at the three lines
and they will not tolerate
any deviation from
their perception of it

maybe move the "from" to the next line? then it would break up how those lines are metered out? I don't know what I'm talking about really, just sounded better in my head that way.

Cheers
Captain

Geezer

Mon, 2018-01-22 08:45

Geezer's picture
Volunteer badge

a look around. I'm sure that you are perceptive enough to see what is going on. Hint, what do you think of when you hear the word faith? I will think about your suggestion of moving the word [from]. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Marvel Godwyn

Tue, 2018-01-23 02:53

Marvel Godwyn's picture

I perceive this piece speaks of a folk who has held on to a belief or way of life which obviously is erratic but has refused to make a detour out of pride or something else.I really like imagery "Cerebral assassins" which I found out to be the intellectuals and also "fires of zealotory" which I also have found excessive enthusiasm. A creatively woven piece Geezer, and thanks for sharing.

Geezer

Tue, 2018-01-23 08:34

Geezer's picture
Volunteer badge

could and does stand for either/or, both sides of an argument. You got it in one! Thanks for your
read and comment. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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