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SMOKY MOUNTAIN LESSON
These mountain ridges I once knew,
steep, stoney and tinted blue,
escarpments I traveled in days of youth.
What did I seek then? Maybe something true.
I watched their woods each year ablaze
in cool dampness of autumn's haze
for well nigh three score years
some marked with joy a few by tears.
But now old aches ban me from them,
no more to find some hidden fen.
Now all their beauty I can see
is from roadsides or television
And that truth which in youth I sought,
the answer which can't be sold or bought?
Has been revealed at last to me...
Life lasts not near eternity.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
raj
Mon, 2018-01-15 12:42
Nice crisp and easy on tongue
Nice crisp and easy on tongue crafted with your skill of creating imagery,,,thanks for sharing an example of western structured poetry which could inspire to participate in your contest...
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
scribbler
Mon, 2018-01-15 14:11
Hi Raj!
Glad you enjoyed this one. BTW the contests aren't "My" contests. They are created and judged by a different invited neopoet member each month. My and Geezer's only contribution is in recruiting the judges and offering them guidance if they ask for it.
author commentIRiz
Mon, 2018-01-15 13:15
most enjoyable poem
most enjoyable poem
i love the structure very much
i think this form is the best for the content of your poem
IRiz
scribbler
Mon, 2018-01-15 14:14
Thank you Riz.
I realized it had been a long time since I'd used a classic AABB rhyme pattern (I'd been using ABAB mostly) so I figured I'd see if I could still use this pattern without the rhyme seeming forced. Thanks for dropping by........stan
author commentGeezer
Tue, 2018-01-16 10:25
Very nice...
You haven't lost the touch of the AABB rhyme scheme. I'm impressed! ~ Gee.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Tue, 2018-01-16 11:51
Hi Geeze
Good to know this old time pattern is still working for me. I appreciate your dropping by.......stan
author commentGeezer
Thu, 2020-10-01 08:59
Nice to see you...
I will assume that you have revised this one, but it does appear to be the Scribbler that I know. I am just as pleased with this one as I was the first time I saw it. Hopefully, you will write something about this coming Autumn season and once again, I will be held in thrall with your visions of the beauty of the woods. ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Thu, 2020-10-01 11:19
Hi Gee
Yes, I've done some editing so some of my old stuff has magically resurfaced. I'm working on an early autumn poem right now
author comment