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HOPE (January Contest)

Submitted by Simon on Wed, 2018-01-10 06:25

It flows like a river
Which flooded many kinds
It conceives confusion
Though all were aware
The joy and happiness we had
But the smoke of hardship
And the dust of poverty overwhelm.

The Beginning of a new dawn
The sunrises with hope
For better sight and good Vision
For a fresh struggle and hustle
We are all concerned
The time must be our partner
When the year is still an infant
Never lose hope.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Contest: 
January contest. Poetry in 2 forms

Comments

Eulekia

Wed, 2018-01-10 08:18

I like the title of your poem.Your language use is good. I like the beginning and end of the poem.
The ryhthm is good too. My User name is Eulekia you can contact me with your comments at my email address [email protected]

ami

Simon

Thu, 2018-01-11 10:30

Simon's picture

God bless you Eulekia surely I will getting touch with you.

author comment

Marvel Godwyn

Thu, 2018-01-11 03:25

Marvel Godwyn's picture

A nicely woven poem ,Simon, and quite inspirational. Thanks for sharing and all the best.

Simon

Thu, 2018-01-11 10:32

Simon's picture

Thank you for giving me hope, God bless you

author comment

Chiori

Thu, 2018-01-11 04:18

Chiori's picture

good luck to the contest

always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing

Simon

Thu, 2018-01-11 10:37

Simon's picture

Sorry for all inconvenients I will do just that,thanks once again for your incouragemeant & advice.

author comment

scribbler

Thu, 2018-01-11 10:31

Volunteer badge

A good poem but to be eligible for the contest you need to also post a western classic (rhyming) version .......stan

Simon

Thu, 2018-01-11 10:39

Simon's picture

Alright I understand, thank you so much.

author comment

scribbler

Mon, 2018-01-29 09:48

Volunteer badge

I Like your poem but unfortunately it is written in only a single form which disqualifies it from contest. I hope this doesn't discourage you from entering contests but please be sure to read each contest's parameters........stan

raj

Mon, 2018-01-29 12:58

Hi Simon

Waiting for you to post part 2 in western classic format...part 1 as many have commented before me is pretty smooth and crisp..making you I think a strong contender for winning the contest should you post a good part 2 as well

Regards and best wishes...

raj (sublime_ocean)

scribbler

Mon, 2018-01-29 15:27

Volunteer badge

deadline for entering is passed.But seeing this in western classic would still be a good thing. Heck the contests are mostly for fun after all....stan

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