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A Thought

Can you understand?
The power of a thought,
That violates and burns,
A hole till it's rot.
An enemy, a slave,
A captive, a coward,
That turns on you- betrays,
And eats away your power.
Can you understand?
The racing of a heart,
That beats and beats,
To tear you apart.
The air that you breathe,
Searching for relief,
With each breath deepening,
Your sanity weakening,
Until that breathing- stops.
Stops to relieve,
The temporary prison,
That is your own mind.
The hell that you live in,
The breath that you hold,
The pain so bold.
That you hate and hate,
This thoughtful hold.
Can you understand?
The power of a thought,
That makes your chest stop heaving,
Your mind stop breathing,
Making you everything you are not.
A prison, a power,
A monster devours,
All that you are,
A captive, a coward,
A rotten-
Thought.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I wrote this on a night when I was overthinking and wanted to describe what it felt like to help someone understand that when i do this my mind is out of my control. I tried to convey that my thoughts imprison me when I can't seem to e logical about them and I am overthinking far too much. I wanted to draw on the power of a thought and how it feels to be trapped in your own mind.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Hello Awozn.
Thank you for sharing your great poem.
I just jumped out of my chair.
It is so good.
I am going to look for your other poems.
You have everything, the passion, the rhythm, the perfect simplicity of the words needed to describe a raw pain.
Your poem doesn't need any explanations or afterword.
It clear and it is screaming. But in the same time it posesses the reader.
Sincerely posessed, Irene

IRiz

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