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Every day in crowded towns
I see people rushed and worried
with downcast eyes and wrinkled frowns.
Perhaps their lives are far too hurried.

Watch their glance dash here and there
among the noise of modern living,
"hello"s rewarded with blank stare.
It's like we all are unforgiving.

And all day harsh sounds assail us:
television, traffic, radio,
people yelling as they fuss.
Noise and tensions grow and grow.

While we keep searching for...something.
a thing that might comfort or calm us.
What is it we keep seeking?
Maybe it's just simple quietness.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

calling this a free-form, so that I won't notice that your scansion is off! Really; I like the theme. I was just saying to someone the other day, that people seem so out of sorts lately. Must be all the noise that we are subjected to. That and the fact that everyone seems to be in their own little world and if you intrude they get their back up! The way that you describe the people, makes me think that we are looking at the same ones!
~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I sometimes mis label the form just to see if anybody is paying attention lol. And it Might be the incessant noise which puts folks on edge I think......stan

author comment

Dear Scribbler,
Thank you for your poem.
Its rhythmic flow transfers me somewhere
to busy streets with cafes opening early.
Rustle of fresh newspapers,
smells from flower shops and bakeries.
Its content calls for quietness.
And I am reading your lines completely with you and in the same time inspired to start wandering in my world of images and words.
You poem is MagicKal with a big K at the end.

IRiz

It's always good to see a new comer appear on my page. I appreciate your time to visit and comment.....stan

author comment

Thank you for your kind welcome.
I am hovering over your lines like a helicopter.
Hope you don't mind.

IRiz

I am pleased you deem them worth hovering over

author comment

have you been nominated
for NOBEL
as yet or ever .

You are our NEOPOET'S FROST
a lovely feather
I am jUst a waffler at all costs
moderna poemy me

some say just machine gunning silly
NOBEL
so you have much more chance
than here does any

I will vote for thee
if you continue to read
my (awe-ful) moderna poetry

ere and there
thee and ye
archaic poety

but ababac etc
AD... ancient poetry
still takes the lead

NAH
it's not aRchaic yet
many have wrong timings
IMAGES
about me

Loved thence now Lovedly
some would say
LOVEWEDLY

So now you are bribing me with Nobel vote to read your poems??? You should know bribes aren't needed just spare time. Thanks for dropping by........stan

author comment

I can't hardly subscribe or even spell
BRABE
or B r I b E

especially the ending, opening up the poem to endless possibilities.

A favorite famous line by Thoreau- "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation". How much truth in one sentence.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

"The mass of men
lead lives of quiet desperation".

FEW LIVE IN ''CLOUDS'' PROSPERITY
MASSES BELOW LINE OF POVERTY
DIFFERENT LEVELS FOR EACH COUNTY .
THE EAST IS POOREST
ALL KNOW IT
AND
THE WEST ELITE TOO HAS DIFFERENT POTENTIALS

SOME GO TO PLAY GOLF IN AEROPLANES
THE REST AWAIT THEIR RETURN....

Sometimes the poems written in haste manage to come out OK don't they ? lol. Thanks for the visit

author comment

After I have read your poem a few times, I have questions.
First stanza

Every day in crowded towns
I see people rushed and worried
with downcast eyes and worried frowns.
Perhaps their lives are far too hurried.

Perfect rhythmic flow is ultered by an extra word
worried. Why don't you omit it?
Frown is already worried expression to me.

Second stanza, how about a little change in the last line?
I am afraid to use like too much, maybe I am wrong. Tell me if changing it to "as if" makes the same sense.

Watch their eyes dash here and there
among the noise of modern living,
"hello"s rewarded with blank stare
as if we all are unforgiving.

IRiz

I had not noticed the close repeat of "worried" and will see what I can do about that pretty soon. I'll also, like, give the use of "like" a bit of like study too lol

author comment

Have a nice evening, my friend.

IRiz

too

author comment

One needs a discernIng eye
2 read your poetry
FREE in style

I only read it mostly
as music
perhaps the best way
a deafy can enjoy scanning
Stan's poetry

I see no reason
for anyone to read my silly poetry
either ''here or there'' are meaningless
waste of poetic words
when great Neopoets are
everywhere

add on the new comers lately
Lovedly has become shy of composing
any more supercilious symphony poetry

Yeah I've noticed that about you (read as sarcasm ) lol

author comment

at times my innocence is read by many as sarcasm

but when I notice some one
''unzipping''
I shut him/her up instantly
that's what is all about
once Loved
and
now Lovedly me
Stan of course
know ye

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