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Poor Cousin Deciduous... Nov. Contest [Naked Trees]

Submitted by Geezer on Wed, 2017-11-08 12:15

Giants, masts of ships
wearing coats of fir
Sails of cloud did whip
passing where we were

There is a sea of conifers
Juniper and Pine
Cones of seed for dinners
though not yours and mine

Birds and squirrels in nests
Warming in the sun
Mother Nature does her best
Though summer is all done

Her needles sew up tight
clothes of forest green
It's really such a sight
And no naked trees are seen

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
November contest : Naked trees
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

scribbler

Wed, 2017-11-08 19:07

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forgot to put (Nov. contest) next to title. But a lot of great imagery and an unusual take on the prompt.....stan

Geezer

Thu, 2017-11-09 09:51

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You know me, always looking for the twist. I thought that not all trees shed their leaves and wondered about what the ones that don't, might think of the ones that do! ~ Gee.

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lonlyhrtsclub13

Thu, 2017-11-09 07:54

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Pine trees are so pretty, especially with a little bit of snow. I thought the title was creative and as always, the imagery was fantastic. I like the end and no naked trees. Reminds me of the kids when they see the leaves falling off the trees.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Geezer

Thu, 2017-11-09 09:55

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the comments and I guess I am always going to be child-like in my perception of nature. It is full of wonderful things and In take great delight in discovering them. ~ Gee.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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Gracy

Sat, 2020-06-27 17:34

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Hi Geez, I didn't know there's already a November contest. So far away! Your title is fine and your poem is full of lovely imagery. Perfectly understandable.
The evergreens don't shed their leaves. They can be garden plants, wild ones or trees. We have several varieties in Patagonia. We also have a cold, green jungle on the pre-cordillera, complete with lianas and so forth, all winter.
Enjoy your poem immensely, regards, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Geezer

Sat, 2020-06-27 20:54

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just something that was edited and turned up on the list I guess. I didn't know that it would show up and make anyone think that it was November already LoL. Thanks for stopping by though. I'm glad you enjoyed it. ~ Geezer.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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