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Poor Cousin Deciduous... Nov. Contest [Naked Trees]
Giants, masts of ships
wearing coats of fir
Sails of cloud did whip
passing where we were
There is a sea of conifers
Juniper and Pine
Cones of seed for dinners
though not yours and mine
Birds and squirrels in nests
Warming in the sun
Mother Nature does her best
Though summer is all done
Her needles sew up tight
clothes of forest green
It's really such a sight
And no naked trees are seen
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
scribbler
Wed, 2017-11-08 19:07
You
forgot to put (Nov. contest) next to title. But a lot of great imagery and an unusual take on the prompt.....stan
Geezer
Thu, 2017-11-09 09:51
Thanks Stan...
You know me, always looking for the twist. I thought that not all trees shed their leaves and wondered about what the ones that don't, might think of the ones that do! ~ Gee.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
lonlyhrtsclub13
Thu, 2017-11-09 07:54
I like this
Pine trees are so pretty, especially with a little bit of snow. I thought the title was creative and as always, the imagery was fantastic. I like the end and no naked trees. Reminds me of the kids when they see the leaves falling off the trees.
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Geezer
Thu, 2017-11-09 09:55
Thanks for...
the comments and I guess I am always going to be child-like in my perception of nature. It is full of wonderful things and In take great delight in discovering them. ~ Gee.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Gracy
Sat, 2020-06-27 17:34
Hi Geez, I didn't know there
Hi Geez, I didn't know there's already a November contest. So far away! Your title is fine and your poem is full of lovely imagery. Perfectly understandable.
The evergreens don't shed their leaves. They can be garden plants, wild ones or trees. We have several varieties in Patagonia. We also have a cold, green jungle on the pre-cordillera, complete with lianas and so forth, all winter.
Enjoy your poem immensely, regards, Gracy
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
Geezer
Sat, 2020-06-27 20:54
No, the poem is...
just something that was edited and turned up on the list I guess. I didn't know that it would show up and make anyone think that it was November already LoL. Thanks for stopping by though. I'm glad you enjoyed it. ~ Geezer.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.