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BRIDGES
I go now to repair a bridge
it serves the road which runs the ridge.
Just a few boards need replacing
on the floor and in the bracing.
I'll do it while the branch is shallow
now when the far-side field is fallow.
My old truck will take me there,
I won't get stuck if I take care.
The land is rugged on this side
on the other, flat and wide
where crops grow in deep dark soil
thus making this bridge worth the toil.
The near side grows both game and mast;
for crops the hill sides drop too fast.
The soil's thin and full of rocks
from fist-sized to looming blocks.
The branch divides such disparate land
that is joined by this old span
so its repair I never shirk.
All bridges are worth some work.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
there are many types bridges...............scribbler
Editing stage:
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Comments
Kailashana2
Wed, 2011-01-12 20:54
All I can say is I never took
All I can say is I never took you for a troll, Scribbler.
;-)
scribbler
Wed, 2011-01-12 21:24
bridge
lol most trolls are much better looking..............................scribbler
Victorclaude
Thu, 2011-01-13 08:53
Reminds me of the bridges in
Reminds me of the bridges in the Smoky Mountains. The bridge crews were always replacing boards 6x12s with ten inch nails. I think that they have all been replaced with concrete now. Saves on wood, but not as aesthetic.
"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."
Unknown (at least to me)
scribbler
Thu, 2011-01-13 12:05
hello Victor
I meant this to be more about the joining of 2 different pieces of land ( people ) and the work ( repair ) needed to maintain the bridge( relations ). Guess the hidden meaning was too well hidden lol................scribbler
Kailashana2
Thu, 2011-01-13 12:06
You ol' devil you. Who
You ol' devil you. Who woulda thunk?
;-)
~A
scribbler
Thu, 2011-01-13 12:12
bridge
they say still waters run deep......In my case the bull sh^t must run deep lol..................scribbler
Tam the Chanter
Thu, 2011-01-13 12:36
bridges
I liked this a lot. As one who was brought up in Fife, in Scotland, I was aware of being connected to the capital, Edinburgh, by the most beautiful bridge in the world, the Forth railway bridge. Its 130 years old and good for another century at least.
It has been calculated that if all the rivets were taken out of the bridge and laid in a line from New York heading due West--------------------------------- The bridge would collapse and the trains would land in the river !! lol
TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA
scribbler
Thu, 2011-01-13 18:54
bridge
I heard that if every female politician were laid end to end............it would be no big surprise lol. I am glad you liked this little attempt...............scribbler
raj
Thu, 2011-01-13 14:00
Dear Stan...
what a lovely write full of live imagery with a wonderfull message ..."a strong bridge is worth some work"...
it is coincidental that only yesterday through the influences of some sub-conscious forces ..may be because of the things happening around us in our world ..i spilled out these words..." It is easier to raise fences than build bridges"...
warmly..
raj (sublime_ocean)
scribbler
Thu, 2011-01-13 18:57
bridge
this was actually my response to the poem that states good fences make good neighbors. Always good to have you drop by.................stan
scribbler
Fri, 2011-01-14 11:03
shirley
always good to hear from you whether early or late. Try not to work too hard...................stan
scribbler
Fri, 2011-01-14 11:05
hello Jayne
Don't worry as my lack of skill has kept all from reading the hidden message. I'll get there some day I hope.................stan
mand
Fri, 2011-01-14 11:25
Hi Stan
Briliant rhyming. Don't think I would have figured out the second meaning unless I had read everyones comments ( I'm a bit dull in that department + other department not to be mentioned ). Having the advantage of hind sight I can see the analogy. The poem in both senses is very clever - I love the imagery of the real bridge needing to be repaired joining two landscapes. ( your description is wonderful ) and the underlaying message of
building and repairing relationships. All in all an excellent poem.
Love Mand xxxxxxxx
scribbler
Sun, 2011-01-16 08:23
hey mand
The apparent dullness resides in my pen for being TOO obscure in my dual meaning lol. thanks for coming by.............stan
judyanne
Sun, 2011-01-16 05:21
great scribble scribbler
lovely to be back to read your no nonsense works
i like the way this can be many types of bridge - land to land, person to person, person to god....
nothing to crit
love to you
judy
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
scribbler
Sun, 2011-01-16 08:25
bridge
and it's great having you back. I'm still sitting here being impressed with your latest poem................stan
Pixee
Sun, 2011-03-27 05:38
Hey Lady!
I think you have always written well. You have not lost anything in your absence. I like a lot!! Keep up the great writings. I would like to know your pen name you use on the site it has been a while for me on the site also.
I am having to learn some of them over again. Please let me know. Write on poet write on!!
Poetry is the heart of every writer.
by: Pixee
Cheers,
Pixee
scribbler
Sun, 2011-03-27 12:50
Pixee
Thank you for dropping by..............scribbler
lovedly
Mon, 2017-11-06 12:25
happy recalling scribbler ..i see only ur scribbling
2011 and now 2017
how about fresh ones
like ur red wagons and nude trees
male-ish
only I feel
scribbler
Mon, 2017-11-06 16:30
I see you keep on "haunting" me lol.
Trying to shame me into commenting more I suspect.........stan
lovedly
Mon, 2017-11-06 17:16
no nt at all ur the only friend left here
hence I will reada nd leave no comment but just tell me okay sending sms pm
scribbler
Tue, 2017-11-07 07:58
You must have plenty of friends here.
if memory serves you won a contest here which reveals the monthly judge likes your writing
lovedly
Tue, 2017-11-07 10:04
yeah I know
and
thanks I must keep you on my right side
why u know stan
ur the only friend now at hand
Ian gone
joe not heard from
jess kicked me finally
others only u know best
do read naked nude trees
Eumolpus
Mon, 2017-11-06 19:58
your poem
is very Frostian, to coin a word. Clearly a good influence, and you have offered a comfortable read with good lines and rhymes.
When dealing with a theme like bridges, such a big symbolic theme rich in possibilities, I think we need a connection of the symbolism. Here we have a bridge connecting a tame land to a desolate land..that means something...that means a lot! What does that mean to you, the casual bridge fixer who goes there with his old truck hoping it makes the trip. It is there need to put a soul into the poem, like Frost does in all his best poems..the fences, the apple picking, the stop in the woods...Frost makes a short poetic narrative about an event and creates a universal from it. Most important, it comes from Frost, "All bridges are worth some work." is not a charged, intimate statement. My take- dig into it.
Hart Crane made his vision of Brooklyn Bridge the focal point of his life's work. Mirabeau Bridge by Appolinaire, there are so many great bridge poems. You are on to something in this tale. Dig!
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
scribbler
Tue, 2017-11-07 09:17
thank you
This is a fairly early scribble of mine but still one of my favorite. But as can be seen by it popping up now, I'm always going back and editing stuff so your well thought out comment is appreciated. I'll put this in my empty head, let it rattle around a bit and see if I can somehow insert a bit more "soul" into this without messing it up
Eumolpus
Tue, 2018-08-07 19:58
to me a very improved work
with a felt message, a poetic message. Very few good poems are ever written without revisions. Glad you could revisit and make this such a fine work!
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
scribbler
Tue, 2018-08-07 22:44
Hello
I am always going back and tinkering with even some of my oldest stuff. Good to hear I've done well editing one of my earliest ones