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Coin On The Cob...

Coin On The Cob...

I try hard to see the world in full,
it’s beauty and of course it’s beast.
There can be now no denial of cruel,
mirroring their starvation as we feast.

What animal parades it’s kill like we,
in our advertisement for beef or rice.
While gaping in the mirror we see,
an image quite the opposite of nice.

Their hungers there in bone or eye,
even the touch of a blind man feels.
Reflecting inward through you and I,
so still, their sense of dignity appeals.

Don’t let their hunger go unwatched,
as those wealthy manipulators of bread.
Argue it’s all lies that must be scotched!
give them corn, while we bury the dead!

So simple am I but still I can hurt,
as those with hungers truths reflect.
While throwing corn upon their dirt,
them, then we lose all respect.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I like your theme, but I'm not too clear about a couple of lines.
1]. What animal parades it's kill like we?
Do you mean what animal brings out its' kill like we do, to show it all around?

2].them and then we lose all respect.
Is this part of the preceding line?
Do you mean that we toss them some corn and lose respect for them?
You have some really good lines here, but they are muddied by the need to ask for a clarification of others. I particularly like the line that goes: Their hunger's there in bone or eye, but even the touch of a blind man feels. I think if you can clear up the lines in question, you will get a better response from the reader. ~ Gee.

P.S. Your title is great!
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thank you, it's a question what other animal parades it's food like we do, our media is full of advertisement about our food products. All other animals hunt and kill for survival, we hunt, kill, gather corn, purely for profit. The other line deserves a coma and i'll take away the and, (them, then we lose all respect). We take away their respect firstly because they can't feed themselves, and then ours because we allow other human being to get into this mess. We feed our pets with more than enough to feed a small country. Hope this helps. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

coherent and clear to me but the last lines

While throwing corn upon their dirt,
them, then we lose all respect.

Not getting how you are using "them"

I understand the feelings to write this poem, I wrote one some years back about eating gourmet popcorn while watching the news and seeing the starving masses of the Sahara...and caught in that disgust. World hunger is so off the public radar by in large..there's no space in-between sports and the weather.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Them, we take away their dignity because we let them get to the stage where they beg, and we spill corn as we distribute. Then how can we be dignified, with all our wealth and know how allowing this to happen again and again. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

'And YOU can't hit back
else you're just like them...'

'yes, but i can't see them putting a hammer
in my head'.

and the heat goes on....

My point exactly we only do what we have to, to salve our conscience. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment
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