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True North

Submitted by vandiemenspeak on Fri, 2017-10-13 10:24

Dislocate, uproot, relocate, distribute
Plant this line in your head and keep repeating,
Our divine right as economic migrants, that heinous vow we took,
Once mortgaged to the rock, we forsook for home,
Is now supplanted in cardboard boxes, a Pink Floyd flurry,
Distribution of reason, unhoused, disowned
In surreal distribution across the lawn, partway through the shed,
Up the hallway, into our beds, and thence on in to our crowding heads.

Dislocate, uproot, and relocate, distribute

Where does this bearing take us? Now, a common theme,
Where is our true north, our promised land, our dream?

In the act of uprooting, to satisfy the needs of our vocation,
Shareholders, expediency, location, location, location,
But: if the proximity of life means, dereliction of direction,
Where are we left? What compass brought us here?
And, which sextant map and madcap plan, in vain,
Might lead us out again?

Dislocate, uproot, and relocate, distribute

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Last few words:

A strange, small poem about upheaval and moving. More of a invective regarding the whole upheaval/process than a poem, but free verse expression, all the same. Lesson, don't keep moving, and if you do, accept the consequences! Good to be back.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Fri, 2017-10-13 17:56

I don't...

often comment or critique your work, because frankly, I usually don't get much of it. However, this one comes through loud and clear. Maybe, because I hate to move! ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

chevyvent

Fri, 2017-10-13 20:15

You Write Like Me

Visual Descriptives in this piece with Floyd encounter.
Of course I could be off course but this is a captivating piece.
Devine right as economic migrants what a push.
You hit a lot of points with this piece keep them coming now.

Mario Vitale

Eumolpus

Sat, 2017-10-14 00:17

real estate

In the end, if you can afford to buy in, you will make a lot of money in real estate...the market of real property beats stocks, gold and everything else. How to grow old with enough money to hang and do poetry? Keep on buyin' and sellin' and in the end you'll find true north...at least in terms of some financial security. I blew my big chance when I didn't buy on Park Avenue in the 70's...I couldn't risk it. $50,000 for an apartment! Now they sell for $ 20 million.
But whatever I did in real estate saved my ass in my old age.

Dislocate, uproot, and relocate, distribute go for it!!

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

vandiemenspeak

Mon, 2017-10-16 06:16

Thanks guys..

It's more about what happens to us as people too, and the total disorientation, and stress it puts people under. I'm halfway through, a very messy move, and it was more of a mind dump, less of a poem. But thanks for your insightful comments.

Cheers.

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

Neopoet

True North