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TO LIVE AGAIN (12-01-2012)
Existing…..
In this grisly grotto of endless void
Shivering amidst turbulent thoughts..
…cold…..so cold….
Sightless…heedless…devoid of emotions
Mindful of the encroaching darkness
That would birth an expected despair
Howling wind in mindless rage
Screaming as in laborious pain
Mirroring my emotions…my aches…my dejection
In the twilight…I seek the hidden light
Like a drunken wanderer…clueless
…tossed about in the tempestuous storm
Knowing the timeless light lurks around the corner
like the maiden’s nut…..waiting…just waiting
to be uncovered…hatched…liberated
In my pitiful existence
clarity becomes me…
As I search…seek…fearful…to say the least
That in the expected discovery…illumination
…hides an even deeper darkness
I shiver still
…uncontrollably
Like undulating leaves…on a windy night
…the flapping wings of an eagle reborn
I seek to gain insight…into this turbulent existence
I search for purpose…..for reason
Asking…not for the thousandth time…..
To stop existing…and start living.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Give it to me straight.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Sat, 2017-10-14 13:44
I found this...
to be a swirl of emotion, even though there is supposedly a decided lack of it in your character. I was going to nit-pick and tell you all the things that I felt were wrong about this work, and then I found that... there wasn't all that much wrong with it. The only thing I was concerned about was the meaning of a couple of the words and even that was moot, because they delivered the feel. I liked the title and the theme and the rest is good. ~ Geezer.
.
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