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UNCERTAIN AGE

Submitted by Simon on Thu, 2017-10-12 07:55

Age is just a number,
But wisdom identifies one’s act.
Age reveals a long living,
Wisdom clarify one’s learning .
it's the nature of life

Don’t uncertainly declare,
For it is not a liar…
It’s always right.
Age can’t be cheated,
But some people are mendacious to themselves.
The time is set when we are born,
There is no bargain.

And the truth is the mark.
Stay forever young as you said,
While your wrinkles get’s deeper.
Maybe it’s a count down show,
50,40,30,20.down low is like.
age asked a question,
And hair answered.
From black to brown to white,
But the grey smiles at age.

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Last few words:

a lady was ones having a serious conversation with her friend she told them she was 27, she never knew i heard her, the other time she applied for a job and she was 25 in the application letter after reading it, how old particularly are you 27 or 25

Editing stage:

Editing - polished draft