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The Devil's Ride...

The sound of squeaking axles
The rattle of the bed
Sets my teeth to grinding
I see a wagon, faded red

There's a demon kid that pulls it
Little Timmy Jones
Cutting through my garden
He throws my dog a bone

Hey, you stupid dog!
I'm the master here
Chew little Timmy's leg off
Timmy's without fear

Good morning, Mrs. Smith
It's a beauty of a day
I baked some cookies, Timmy
I grumble;” Send him on his way”

The wagon is untended
I pick it up and run
I'll rid the world of urban-blight
And I'll have some fun!

Hey there Mr. Smith
Says a grubby little face
Watcha doing with my wagon?
Damn, I've lost the race

I was gonna fix it Timmy
I want to grease the wheels
It makes an awful racket
I give a good guy spiel

Now, we have it quiet, Timmy
You can go upon your way
Now, I won't have to hear it
It will make my day

Thanks there, Mr. Smith
You're a real good guy
Go on you little shit
I mean, I bet now, it will fly

What I'll do for peace and quiet
I guess, you'll never know
I pushed him down the hill
You should see him go!

Poor Timmy went too fast
Right straight into the street
I yelled for him to stop
I seen him drag his feet

The traffic was horrendous
He disappeared behind a truck
I was satisfied;
“He's gone, the little fuck”

A faint voice says; Wow. I made it!
I say, “Well, I'll be damned”
“No way, you little demon! “
I feel that I've been scammed

I guess that I should be afraid
I tell my wife; “Don't let him in
The Devil's got his back I'm sure
See his “Cheshire” grin?

Now Timmy wants to play each day
I don't think that I should go
Tell him that I'm sick, my dear
I can't shake this cold

I say tell him that I'm sorry
She says ”Whatever for?”
I'm sorry that he didn't die
“I mean, I ain't playing “War”

His guns are looking just too real
I wouldn't last an hour
That little red wagon's the Devil's ride
That kid, he's got the power!

He knows where I am hiding
I see him right outside
He looks up at my window
Hey Mr. Smith, come take a ride

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
I was going to enter the contest with this one, but it got away and ran way past 20 lines. I couldn't help it! I know that there will be some people that will not appreciate my treatment of a fictional little kid, but you haven't met Little Timmy and pray that you never do!
Editing stage: 

Comments

This was great! Gave me chills reading it, awesome visual too

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Sounds like Dennis the menace on steroids lol. I guess we have all known at least one demon child whose parents let them run wild but few of them have a little red wagon.........stan PS you could enter this in contest as you, like me can't win it anyhow

it was in non-compliance with the rules and since it was WAY over I shouldn't set a bad example!

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author comment

you have composed a lovely
red wagons red wagons and red wagons =trains poetry
nice coming from you
as an inspiration
Have you scanned mine
red wag on
I may not enter this time
no one read my
''hat trick''
well in time
any way ..
a very happy red week end
Thanks giving ! today
markets open all day

Glad you liked it. I know I should be ashamed of myself for trying to take out little Timmy, but I guess the Devil made me do it! LoL. Thanks for your read and comments. Makes my day. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Hi Geez, what an exciting poem. My older brother had a bit of the devil in him. So did I, growing up on a farm 'twas easy to to devilish things. Shan't tell anybody...lol.
The title is perfect and so is the rhyming and internal timing and spacing, if you join some lines together it can easily go to the May contest, altho' I think you have others about climate. Keep it for another month.
Enjoyed a lot, will return.

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

I had a good time with this one. [Even though, it was about a little kid and some might think it bad of me]. Thanks for all the praise, it means much to me that someone as great at poetry as you, thinks so highly of mine. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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