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HAVE YOU EVER

Submitted by Ja Ja on Sun, 2017-09-17 09:59

Have you ever seen a light
Streaking through the sky
Imagined it was someone’s life
That just came streaming by

And when the light had faded
Did it make you question why
We were put, on this earth
And then left here to die

Did you ever see a lightning strike
Felt the tremors from its thunder
Imagined it had pierced a heart
And ripped it all asunder

For such a force to manifest
Did it set your mind to wonder
Was our life here, meant to be
Or was it, just a blunder

Did you ever see a rainbow
Marvel at its beauty arching high
Realized, that life’s worth living
Even without, the reason why
BOEMS by JA 674

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing

Comments

Geezer

Sun, 2017-09-17 17:47

Geezer's picture
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the theme and the rhyme. The rhythm is a tad ragged in the last quatrain, but I'm sure that it is easily fixed. It is a theme that I'm sure that passes through the mind of almost everyone alive. I say almost, because I'm sure that you must see or actually know the sour-puss that looks at life as though it's a bad job and they are just passing the time here until they go to their just-reward. Anyhow, I enjoyed the rhyme and the story. ~ Geezer.
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Eumolpus

Sun, 2017-09-17 21:37

Eumolpus's picture

I call this form a "question poem", one that asks a series of questions but does not answer. This is a nice one.
I would, however, add question marks. You have 3 commas...i would fully punctuate. Punctuation is one of the available tools of this craft of words and I think should be used, especially in a question poem format.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

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