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Yellow, White butterfly and a Brown Monarch

I walked outside to connect with nature;
There was yellow butterflies everywhere;
I spinned like a child in the wind;
Gleefully delighted, trying to take pictures;

I returned to my couch, by window, to resumed watching YouTube videos;
Suddenly a white butterfly caught corner of my eye,
I dashed to the slide-door to see the butterfly, but he was gone;
I've not seen a white butterfly before;

I returned to my couch to lay back;
Seconds later, I see a brown monarch flutter back and forth;
As was a child, I couldn't stay seated;
I ran skipping to the opened slide-door to get a picture;

I felt like that care free little country girl;
Full of innocence, growing up on a lonely country road,
Where cars rarely travel, enjoying nature again;
Creating my own reality.

Editing stage: 

Comments

to me is has some very interesting mixed messages. In the first stanza you go outside with the purpose to connect with nature, enjoying the abundance of butterflies and taking pictures, Wasn't sure if this was a joyous act of taking the pictures or the irony of expressing it..the second you are distracted by a white butterfly while watching a video...(I think the time tense might want to read "I'd never seen a white butterfly before) in the third again the joy of nature is again shared by the innocence of skipping and taking pictures BUT then last stanza confuses me a bit..With the innocence of youth (girl) and enjoying nature as a girl, in a more primal setting (far from cars i.e. civilization) you are creating your own reality but using the technology (?)
I'm thinking of innocence in the Blake sense. Is not act of taking pictures a modern distraction from the pure enjoying nature, far from the cars, the noise of modern life?

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Enjoyed your take on it. Yes I am creating my own reality in the earth with nature combined with Technology. I'm one with nature and technology.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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To see things through the eyes of a child is a gift indeed, loved the write.
Just a tiny thing, I needed more of that purity.
To see through the eyes of a child makes reality so cruel.
Take care lovely lady, Yours, Ian .xx

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Unconditional love to you all.
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Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

it reminds me of a cartoon by my favorite visual poet ever, Michael Leunig
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/44/bb/37/44bb37cf149c4e06cd42250638c83738--car...
The father and son watch the sunset on TV whilst it's really happening outside.

Also captures the childish delight, I'm not sure if your idiosyncratic grammatical idiom is on purpose here but it works.

And my Indigenous Australian mate, Troy, loves your poem.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

As usual you put me to work looking up unique words I've not known. The link to the picture nice. Technology and nature can and does work. I tweaked this a little to give it a more accurate description of what was happening in my nature/spiritual moment and let Troy know I appreciate his eye for good poetry lol. Glad my idiosyncratic language working. (;) I'm redefining myself, walking my truth my way. I'm feel free at last to be who I was meant to be spiritually not religiously.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

your poem speaks more of the beauty of nature, coupled with seeing it in the way of a little girl, i enjoy your poem keep ti up.

always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing

I take nature walks around my property. A circle around my house and absorb nature as it is alive. Been seeing double today; while looking out window, on couch by window, two small butterflies, 1 yellow 1 brown, flutter in synchronicity and then hours later two squirrels jump out of nowhere, on stack of board by the woods, as I look out my kitchen window. Poem for another day lol. Beauty of nature is exactly where's I'm going here.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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