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Worlds apart
Im sinking in quicksand
I cant seem to find my footing
My hands are shaking
My bodies moving in ways
I could not have imagined
The sunshine rays
Just dont exist in my world
Shadows fill the void
I have lost all control
The worlds got me spinning
Cant figure out the direction
So lost so confused
Cant figure out what to do
Cant find anyhelp
This is reality
This isnt a game
Its just me
Its how i am
Editing stage:
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Comments
weirdelf
Fri, 2017-09-08 08:27
It's hard and it's real
welcome to being a poet.
Just remember it is the opposite of quicksand- in quicksand the more you struggle the quicker you sink. As a poet the more you struggle the more you rise.
You have a learning curve ahead of you. Read some of the great poets and get back to us, tell us who you like, we can help you find your way.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Marvel Godwyn
Fri, 2017-09-08 12:48
A nice poem Aaaronc, but I
A nice poem Aaaronc, but I think you need to use the apostrophe sign. Thanks for sharing.
weirdelf
Mon, 2017-09-11 09:55
I agree with Marvel,
correct grammar is necessary, in many ways poetry is a precise science, every single letter and word counts.
Please don't ever use text shortcuts like 'u' for 'you' etc unless you are parodying SMS communications.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry