as I read you are "trying to write", it is a long process but worth the time. Honesty and self-awareness are the first requirements, and you have that, which not everybody does.
A few things.
Firstly i would start to write using proper English grammar- such as "I've" or "I'm". That's like learning to play an instrument, you have to tune it first.
My suggestion is to read as much poetry as you can, see the huge range of styles. You will find after a time that poems use metaphor and simile, imagery, color of words, and take on a special music.
In time you will be way beyond "the confusion has me" which makes the reader think confusion is an animated state. You will describe that confusion with images and imagination. Let you mind learn to love words. That is poetry. Like an artist must learn to love color.

You sound like a natural poet to me. It is far the best medium for honesty, self expression and tell'em fuck'em.
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..."
Jack Kerouac