Welcome to neopoet. You are going to find this is a different animal than most poetry sites but in a good way if you are looking to hone poetic skills. I never really critique an author's first post. But I'll let it suffice to say it's apparent this stuff isn't new to you . I enjoyed the read and especially the ending lines. If you have any problems here such as navigating the site or Any questions you can feel free to ask me. If I don't know the answer I'll point you to somebody who does. I hope your time here is fruitful......stan holliday (scribbler)

Welcome to Neopoet!

If I may be honest, I think your first stanza is the strongest. The imagery, the word choices, and the rhyme all work together to make a stanza that makes a reader really take their time and absorb the message and that's fantastic. With that in mind, I think the potency comes back in the final stanza and the middle two stanzas trail off a little bit. I'm not sure what I would suggest to make them stronger to better fit the rest of the poem, but I will give it some time and come back to you to let you know some ideas. I hope you don't mind this comment, I'm just trying to help. It's still your poem, so if you disagree that's totally okay!

Take care,
Kelsey

I'm liking your poem! I have a thing for rhyme and you seem well up to the task. I can only echo the above comments and hope that you take them and any others as helpful to your work. I notice that your poem seems to be entered in the August contest, but I think you might go back and read the parameters and maybe read some of the other entries to get a better idea of what the judges are looking for. Not that your poem isn't good enough to compete and even win, but try again and good luck. ~ Geezer.
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