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Goodbye/Lucky by Ron Woodruff

Goodbye/Lucky by RW

I have to find the barrier, the drop,

the scarier stop

The rest of the 80-90 empirical proof

If I'm a goof I'm glad to be so

loud and free

though I often whisper

Open scars and mean guitars

my family name will not last

The past, the apathetic Czars

the prototype, the blast

I am quite insane

looking through cellophane

but despite have had a transcendent life

as fun as spontaneous writes rife

with honesty, sometimes ugly

somber or unleasant

and the stars above

and I the coiled pheasant

gripping underbrush shrub

when the grey sky breaks

and the guns discharge

It like wrestling is fake

and truth a colliding barge

for love and poetry's sake

I wish it more than goodbye.
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Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I want it to speak for me.
Editing stage: 

Comments

good collocation of massive ideas

I deeply apologize for the amount of time it has taken me to respond. I intend to write and post some more soon. In the meantime, if you go to my profile, there should be a list of all the work I've posted here. It's very diverse. Some complex form work, some free-form work with it's own rhythms. It would be my honor if you were to have a look.

Thanks Emeka!

Ron Woodruff

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

author comment

Speaks volumes. Sent me off into different mental planes and brought me back again.

Hope all is going well with the book. Did you get the professorship?

Scott

Scott

I'm glad you liked it. I'm going back into a Allen Ginsberg phase for while, I think the strict form caused me a pit of a breach between my words and what they are trying to convey. I hope the new stuff inspires you. Sorry for the delay.

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

author comment

wow! as usual, your mind has traversed into different fields of interesting ideas and places again..

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