Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Waste
A green bird’s breast wing spun in sunlit foresee razed, where I hung from stray film reels. In my lyrical prayer, code free and dedicated a certain morbidezza, was the laminate cell reconstituting the chaplet, the signs, the…The bird’s song, a deboned alouette, curtsie, I cried. I am the extra, Three Men and a Baby, Ghost, and that obscure Arabian film “The Blind Owl..” Ron Jeremy in “Jaws”: moving picture waste; poetry’s germ of growth.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
China Blue
Wed, 2017-08-16 08:43
first this would be a poem if
first this would be a poem if it would be written in stanza format. The way it is now makes it very difficult to read
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
fink555
Wed, 2017-08-16 13:47
It is a
prose poem.
fink555
Fri, 2017-08-18 00:03
And not all fucking
poems have to be written in stanzas.