Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Sometimes A Fable Fails To Impress

walkin' in the rain, sullen, and all that...
I don't care
I'm used to it
damn!
fuckin' puddle!
now my socks are wet
she would have just laughed
who the hell needs that
she'll probably end up an ol' sourpuss anyway
so who cares
I don't
damn, it's cold out here
she'd' put an arm around my shoulder
move in closer...
man! she's so possessive
I'd rather be frozen stiff than be owned
by that needy witch
so who cares
I don't
and now this! my stomach's growling like a love sick cat
she was a good cook though, I'll admit to that
but I think she was trying to kill me with all the cookies and cakes
and she called that kindness
I bet she'll end up in jail for insurance fraud one day, or murder
so who cares
I don't
once, she told me a story
something about grapes,
...don't know why that just popped into my head
but she was always telling me stuff
she called it "sweet nothin's"
more like "yak, yak, yak"
so who cares if I'm out walkin' in the rain, sullen ...and all that
I don't
beats living with a shrew
shit! I think the rain's turning to sleet

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I stole a line from another of my poems to begin this one
Editing stage: 

Comments

the man doth protest too much. What man would give up the comfort of a woman's arms to face up to sleet? Not this one I'm a-thinking.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

He had his chances, he blew it , getting kicked to the curb wasn't his call
and now that he's out, he's becoming the living epitome of Aesop's fox, attempting to turn her ( in his own mind) into the proverbial sour grapes of the fable. instead of facing his own failures with grace.

anyway,, that was what I intended to convey

Glad that you gave it a read.

thanks

Al

author comment

I think you conveyed your meaning well, thus my comment about protestations.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

I guess I misread your first comment to mean he was protesting while out in the rain, not while he was still with her...something about it still confuses me

don't worry , even if I get it all figured out,
I'll still be the same inconsistent, cleverly clueless guy, most of the sometime for sure, I think!

Thanks again for responding,

Al

author comment

the man protested too much about not missing the ex. Sort of like she's gone now, I wasn't that keen anyway. I hope that is clearer. Saying he did not need her simply because he can't have her.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.