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The Princess...

Submitted by Geezer on Wed, 2017-08-09 12:20

The Princess...

She certainly has a hold on me
She takes my breath away
Anyone half-blind can see
By my side, the Princess stays

I don't run and play silly games
A sedate pace I shall maintain
The fire is dead, no more flames
Instead, I deal with the pain

Because of her, her constant need
I've given up so much
No running through a field of weeds
I miss the storm front's touch

The sweetness of a foggy night
A hazy, lazy day
Now I need the sun, all bright
Rain, please stay away

By now, I'm sure that you must know
The Princess of which I speak
The one, the cause of all my woe
She makes me very weak

The Princess Emphysema rules
She makes my life a hell
She doesn't care, she's so damn cruel
She's made me just a shell

My breath is short, ambition long
Truer words were never spoken
My addiction to it, just too strong
I wish I started never smokin'

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

weirdelf

Wed, 2017-08-09 13:48

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She's fucking with me too and I call her any name but that.
I thought I was reading about loverlornlovelostloveunrequited misery until you name the bitch.

She might be fucking with me but she hasn't put out my fire yet.

cheers,
Jess
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Geezer

Wed, 2017-08-09 20:14

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put out my fire yet, but I needed something to make the connection to name and flame. Poetic license and all that, you know? I know that usually the evil one is a queen, but a princess will grow up to be a queen, right? And I've always had a thing for a princess. ~ Gee.
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author comment

scribbler

Wed, 2017-08-09 14:14

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s-5, l-2 maybe the prinicess of which I speak? but this princess is more a witch I'd think...........stan

Geezer

Wed, 2017-08-09 20:25

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she is a real witch or bitch, whatever. She will grow up to be the queen, right now, she is only the princess. Someday she will be the queen of all evil and kill me, but not yet! Made the change per your suggestion. Thanks, ~ Gee.

P.S. Made a little change to the last stanza too.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

brittle light

Wed, 2017-08-09 21:13

brittle light's picture

"I wish I started never smokin'"

I really like that line, both, for it's wit and visceral truth

stay tough, as long as you can

Al

Geezer

Thu, 2017-08-10 01:09

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I thought it rather clever, if I do say so myself. I've lived with the little bitch for about fifteen years now and I'm still hanging in there, but the older I get... If this poem or anything I say, helps to keep one person from starting or one to quit, It will make me immensely happy. ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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