Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Master Plan

if I rail at the sky
I'll be seen as nuts
but if I rail loud enough
I'll become a cult
and if I rail hard enough
I'll become its savior
and if I rail long enough
I'll become the truth

and if by fate I ever stop
doom and gloom will fade away
leaving, in its gentle wake,
the dawning of a sunny daze
and me...broke as hell

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

What a great poem!
Your rails becoming truth.
And the truth comes at a cost.
But imagine your freedom.
Fortune favors the bold
They say
So I reckon you'll be rich
One day!

cool
I am flattered by your appraisal
thank you.

Al

author comment

Sounds like scientology lol. I like that word "broke" because in this context it can denote much more than mere money......stan

yeah, scientology,, but especially anyone preaching doom and gloom to scare congregants into keeping in line...and tithing to the max!
I like your observation on "broke"...

Al

author comment

Is what caught me. As you are writing in the vernacular, like "nuts" instead of madman or crazy , I took broke to mean in the economic way, not broken into pieces. Especially the common expression of broke as hell. I can't find the connection between the idea that if you rail enough you will "become the truth" (a very big statement as Truth is such a BIG word) and the idea that if you ceased your railing you find peace...but be broke (either economically or metaphysically).

You are offering such divers and unique ideas of late, and I enjoy your work. Like reading all poets, there are those poems that resonate and those which don't, which is just fine! Half of Mozart puts me to sleep. The other half sends me to the stratosphere.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Fair enough
I see it as a megalomaniacal con man plotting his next big caper, spitballing his thoughts,
truth qua truth means nothing to him, it's all just part of the long con. he can even seeing the eventual downside.

but as a piece of "poetry" I can envision it pricklling to some readers.

thanks for your insightful and honest opinion

Al

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.