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Random Haiku 2

The full moon, the world's
searchlight, scans the earth for hope.
No such luck.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I am enjoying your new work of unique haiku like poems. I do not personally think we need count the syllables, it's more about the immediacy of the images making a statement. The idea of the moonlight being a searchlight for hope is a wonderful image!

I would only suggest here we don't need "sadly". No such luck is sad enough! In reading a few times with/without, omitting that word seems to make the last line go upwards, like it has an exclamation point, not downward, after the word sadly.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

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