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Trying To Have A Conversation With Cousin Bubba

Submitted by brittle light on Sun, 2017-07-16 19:19

man! that was a great movie!

...wanna get sumpin' to eat?

that was the best concert by far!

...I'm hungry, you hungry?

I finished reading a really good novel last night

...you do look a little blurry-eyed

someone posted a brilliant poem online, it really hit home

...I dunno, tacos or pizza, you decide

that's it! I'm going back to New York

OK...by the way, that movie was trite and self indulgent,
...the concert was recycled pop kitsch, that novel, I read it in high school,
...pure feminist propaganda, devoid of any logic or style
...and as for that "brilliant' poem, I'll just have to take your word for it.
... I don't speak Babble..

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

chevyvent

Sun, 2017-07-16 19:36

chevyvent's picture

One can get lost in this timeless piece.
I give you a lot of credit for recording your thoughts.
Keep up the good work.
Thank you kindly,
Mario William vitale

Mario Vitale

brittle light

Mon, 2017-07-17 02:58

brittle light's picture

thank you , thank you very much ...(why am I trying to sound like Elvis?)
anyway, thanks for your observations, Mario.

regards,

Al

author comment

Geezer

Sun, 2017-07-16 23:58

Geezer's picture
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been reading the same stuff that Keith and I have been reading! Thanks for your thoughts, I enjoyed reading something that I can understand. ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

brittle light

Mon, 2017-07-17 03:09

brittle light's picture

yes, yes, yes,! why do so many poets try so hard to be opaque, or are they just bad writers?
I have my thoughts on this, but don't want to start a war, so mums the word from hereout
thanks G.

Al

author comment

Eumolpus

Mon, 2017-07-17 00:09

Eumolpus's picture

For me a very theatrical poem, or like one of those tweet like videos where you have like 30 seconds.
It is really fun to read.

There was once in a Star Trek episode a situation where a Ferengi was asked "hypothetically speaking, did this or that happen..." and he answers "I don't speak hypothetical."
I get your poem.Babble with a capitol B.
Just sayin'

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

brittle light

Mon, 2017-07-17 03:23

brittle light's picture

glad you got it,
"fun to read" is high praise to me
I get tired of struggling to understand so many poems I read here, and elsewhere.
Obviously, fun shouldn't be the only criteria for judging a piece, but neither should it be discounted. So I thank you for your appreciation of this "poem"

regards,

Al

author comment

scribbler

Mon, 2017-07-17 14:33

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I unnerstan 'zacky whut you mean lol............stan

brittle light

Tue, 2017-07-18 08:57

brittle light's picture

I'm sure you do
no fast talkin' yankee city slicker's gonna put sumpin' over on you

Al

author comment

Geezer

Tue, 2017-07-18 14:45

Geezer's picture
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The is or was a topic in our very own forum that I thought you might be interested in. The title is
"Form versus Message" you can find it under the subject of "Anything Goes". We DO have a forum here and we should utilize it ! ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

scribbler

Tue, 2017-07-18 23:02

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The discussion underway is fairly important for a workshop site I think

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