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MESSENGER BEECH

Submitted by scribbler on Sun, 2011-04-03 10:18

There still grows a tree upon a bluff
above the river which it guards
and watches over course's plain
which floods whenever torrents reign.

And it grows far off the beaten path,
this ancient beech I chanced upon,
with nearly white smooth bleached bark
never touched by saw or wild fire's spark.

By its size I know that it was here
many years before I came to be
its bark by initials compromised
by lovers' pocket knives I surmised.

They must have wondered long ago
hand in hand, as far a trek as I
their letters now indistinct and wide
as for years the beech tree grew its hide.

I wonder are they still alive?
I wonder are they still in love?
Then I think of my own true love
and add our initials to theirs, but above.

Then inspecting my sharp handiwork
I satisfy myself well done
then set out walking in the bluff's lee
in dawning knowledge this old tree
will very likely outlive me.

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Last few words:

This started as a free verse, but rhyme kept creeping in so I decided to blend the two. Did it work ?

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

scribbler

Sun, 2011-04-03 11:53

hi Rosi

i tend to space question marks because they look too close when writing then they become too far when posted lol.i was mere carelessness I guess lol.Thanks for the corrections and such kind comment............stan

author comment

scribbler

Sun, 2011-04-03 15:01

hi Shirl

Have seen a picture of what is reputed to be oldest living tree. It is a twisted bristle cone pine in the desert south west .It was around when Jesus was born. I'll let some others than myself determine if it's something new.................stan

author comment

scribbler

Mon, 2011-04-04 08:34

hello

I'll probably post a free verse today.That should give ample opportunity to find fault lol.............stan

author comment

scribbler

Mon, 2011-04-04 12:07

hi Ian

Glad you liked this. Poem is recollection of a huge beech I happened upon far from any existing house. It had numerous old hearts and initials which had been carved long ago to whic I added Susan's and mine............stan

author comment

lovedly

Tue, 2017-06-20 15:08