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Dactyl (meter workshop)

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Travel through time with me now and remember the hopes and the fantasies
Think on the dreams we had then, in those days when the world was so young.
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Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

for your input
I have trouble understanding why you think the meter of the second verse is out
I can only say that it must be due to accent....

I really appreciate your thoughts, any crit will make me check the work.... but in this case I still think my verse is dactyl

Your verse is fine, but it changes what I am saying
Thanks again for your comment, it is appreciated
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

but I don't have a problem with Judy's version. Thank you for the Alexandrine.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Glad you read this as dactyl
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

You sound like me re your sleep pattern....
Thanks for the return visit
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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