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Final Confrontation

I see that through your eyes
I appear humble
Even at times weak
So you feel
You can just run over the meek

You speak in the loudest tones
With anger at the end
Of every stroke
About all the things you’ll do
So that all will be afraid of you

I will whisper simple words
Which only you will hear
Look to the horizon
Do you see the fire that rises?
You’ll have no time for fear

My quiet fury can’t be turned
Once the fire begins to burn
Hell and pain are on their way
Trust me
There will be no running away

I will not recognize the words
PLEASE STOP!
My anger is like an unstoppable
Charging herd
The far thunder, which is heard

All the warnings have been ignored
To you it did not matter
How long I implored
So instead of listening
You continued to batter

Can you see?
You have burned every bridge
Now you must pay a fee
What is that wet stop on your pants
Is it your fear running like pee?

There you now stand quaking
So after all that agitation
You were only just faking
It was not what you wanted
A final confrontation

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
this is not a real situation, it's just words that came in my head. nothing that I know of provoked this write. So if you see something you would like to change please feel free to voice it.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Yes please, look at the second to last stanza. It sounds a little chessie to me. See if you can do something with it, I'm just trying to show in that stanza how a person who talks tough, or appears tough is just like the rest of us. fear can also grip them, hence the peeing in the pants.
thanks love
Fast Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

it's not that stanza it's the one after it, stanza #7
sorry I was not clear. try again please?
Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

thanks, but I don't feel like it's conveying what I'm trying to say. I think I need something a little stronger, i just haven't found the words. I hear them in my head, but I can't seem to get them down on paper. it's making me anger.maybe that what I need to get anger, so I can see them
again thank you always for your help sweetie.
E.C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Where oh where did you send the pee
I sure am glad it was not little old me
LOl

I like this and I know you were venting a safe release of anger out on the paper. It is rather descriptive in nature and I think you nailed it or fired it one way or another. Miss reading alot of you and others here and try to maintain to get in here a little bit, for now. I am having this black chunk of a heading and harder to get logged in at the moment. let me know when they get the chatty cathy back so we can open the room for some good coffee mate talk once again.

Blessings to you friend
Love Mona

Nice to hear from you!
Well, it just a matter of time and all on neopoet will be right as rain.
thanks for the read Buddy!!
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment
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