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"The Silence of Light"
Here in the darkness of the days beginning
I find no peace even as the sound of silence plays.
Drawing on the surprise of visions of light
A chandelier glistened in my mind.
The true light splitting into many hues
Which is the truth of light in all these shades
Tell the darkness that it can only be betwixt stars
There I shall find an infinity of dreams
A silence so pure it will close your mind
Dreams without end caressing thoughts
As they flee to find a golden dawn
The star we call the sun will appear to rise
Stay in awe of each day as you are drawn to be
There in the warmth of an entity you will glow
There as the darkness flees, you will find a new peace.
Drift into a new day, as does this thing called night
There declare that you are of substance and live
Then use your thoughts to rent asunder old myths
As you close your eyes for that final chapter
They will tell you in the new light, that its eternal.
Comments
lovedly
Sat, 2017-04-01 20:28
wow wow
and bow
day breaks but with darkness
is it snowing there still
Sparrow
Sun, 2017-04-02 03:47
Loved
Thanks for joining me here, today as every day is special.
Out in the garden is an Acer tree not yet cloaked in its summer dress, hanging from its branches are four heart shaped plastic pieces each with an inscription on .
They are for the family of Anne that has departed this pathway, they twist with the breeze and flash out light reminding us that those who journeyed on are but a thought away.
I hope you are in better weather now young Bard, where abouts are you on that vast Canadian plain or have you moved again.
Take care yours as always Ian
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
lovedly
Sun, 2017-04-09 06:34
you seem to be asking a grass hopper
you seem to be asking a grass hopper
on which grass are you now hopping
well a guy like me
moves on across water
land and sea
through the medium of the air
and
if you know anything about timing zones
you will find me always about
here and there
but where
weirdelf
Mon, 2017-04-10 02:55
Lovedly, I have always asked you to release
your plague or brilliance on the world or at least Neopoet.
This is a good start, for not the first time, whether you knew it or not, I have your back.
Speak bravely and more succinctly.
I'm with you, pardner.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
lovedly
Tue, 2017-04-11 14:39
DEL
SORRY Ian Sir
Sparrow
Tue, 2017-04-11 03:31
Loved
Put this one on stream it is one of your best writes that I have read for a while.
Thanks for sharing it with me first,
Take care young Bard a lovely walk,
Yours Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
lovedly
Tue, 2017-04-11 05:24
Thanks Ian I had no option but to wait 23 hours plus hence here
you are first
weirdelf
Tue, 2017-04-11 13:34
You know that is a no no
The guidelines specifically request that you do not use blogs to bypass the 24 hour rule.
It is also rude and disrespectful to post your own poem in comments on someone else's work. You owe Ian an apology.
Big slap on wrist!
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
lovedly
Tue, 2017-04-11 14:37
sorry Ian I am removing both the comment as poetry and the blog
as my master straightens me a very big hugging
S O R R EEEEEEEEEEEE
Sparrow
Tue, 2017-04-11 19:23
Loved
You is forguved and it matters not, I post some of my pieces on others places but just as an example of something I have said in my comment.
You have had an ether slap (Smiling) take care talk to you later, Yours Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
swamp-witch
Sun, 2017-04-02 19:36
Ian,
Critique, don't comment.
Community guidelines: https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
To see our learning resources, click the "Curated Resources" link under the Resources tab in the top menu bar.
Sparrow
Mon, 2017-04-10 03:51
Kelsey
Sorry about delay I thought that I had replied to your comment.
I took your advise and amended the poem as you suggested,
Kelsey I have always had the problem of to many words just ask Jess.
I have been writing for over 60 years now and find that to sit and just write to me is the best way.
After writing I usually edit each line as I can never remember the words I have written.
But most of my writes as the last two or so are straight from the keys as I sit here late at night, and then there is no time to edit.
Later probably the next day I will copy to word and go through the piece line by line but time is not good to me.
You just sit and write/tap the keys do not think to deeply or you will become embroiled with correctness and that stops the flow from your mind..
Thanks very much, Yours as always Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
weirdelf
Sun, 2017-04-02 19:56
Not much to say after Kelsey's excellent and comprehensive crit.
Really, at the literary, philosophical and science levels she took the words right out of my mouth (and it definitely wasn't while she was kissing me)
Title?
"Hey man, it's just light, you know?"
"Shut your eyes"
"The Silence of Light"
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Sparrow
Sun, 2017-04-09 04:18
Jess
Most things I write are fiction and just imagination, Simeon and Gar the sound of silence rings out loud and clear,
You take care and thanks for your visit.
Yours as always, Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
Keith Logan
Mon, 2017-04-03 16:10
A few thoughts
Great opening verse leading into an equally good second. About that second, you have used shades twice, maybe you meant something like hues in the first position. I also love dawning so this poem really appeals to me. Another thought, Drift into a new day, leave the obsolete thing called night. Also I think rent (past hence) should be rend.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
Sparrow
Sun, 2017-04-09 04:20
Keith
Thanks for your obs, I put a light in the second shade all seems bright and better now,
Many thanks,
Yours, Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
scribbler
Mon, 2017-04-03 16:45
Hi Ian
Just my luck to read this as my alloted comp time is about to expire at library lol. I liked the way you use day and night as metaphors for life and death but I haven't time to dig for suggestions...........stan
Sparrow
Mon, 2017-04-03 19:47
Thank you Stan
Great to have a comment from you sorry you were timed out, Will talk later its late at the moment and I am supposed to sleep at night..
Take care out there, Yours as always Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
lovedly
Tue, 2017-04-11 05:26
kindly differentiate between
advice and advise
many interchange
google if u would
swamp-witch
Tue, 2017-04-11 10:34
Hey loved,
"advice" is the noun (I would like some advice) and "advise" is the verb (I am going to advise you on what to do next).
I imagine that most people mix them up a lot! I know that I do.
Hope this helps,
Kelsey
Critique, don't comment.
Community guidelines: https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
To see our learning resources, click the "Curated Resources" link under the Resources tab in the top menu bar.
Keith Logan
Tue, 2017-04-11 11:03
If you want my advice
then I advise you not to listen to my advice.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
lovedly
Tue, 2017-04-11 11:54
thank god for your frankness
do advise
I love your ADVICE
I KNOW U KNOW
telling a leading poet
also
I sent
not I send
and he sent
then I wanted to send
many mix up this kind too
thanks to you
Keith Logan
Tue, 2017-04-11 18:53
I send
greetings to you my friend. Greetings which I may have sent before.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
lovedly
Tue, 2017-04-11 11:51
i know lots dont know so indirectly I was
telling a leading poet
also
I sent
not I send
and he sent
then I wanted to send
many mix up this kind too
thanks to you
lovedly
Tue, 2017-04-11 11:53
do read again
telling a leading poet
also
I sent
not I send
and he sent
then I wanted to send
many mix up this kind too
thanks to you
swamp-witch
Tue, 2017-04-11 15:32
No worries, Loved
I also mix up "passed" and "past". It happens!
Critique, don't comment.
Community guidelines: https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
To see our learning resources, click the "Curated Resources" link under the Resources tab in the top menu bar.
Keith Logan
Tue, 2017-04-11 18:49
Poor lass
that's what comes of missing out on a good old fashioned Scottish education.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
lovedly
Tue, 2017-04-11 23:36
yeah 'tis like
she passed this way
many times in the past
wesley snow
Tue, 2017-04-11 16:37
Just saying hello.
The poem was traditional Ian (which is not a bad thing). The grammatical suggestions are spot on and I agree with them. Careful there. The subject is sweet and poignant.
Good poem nonetheless.
Good to see you again. I have been gone a long time and miss my old friends.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
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Sparrow
Tue, 2017-04-11 19:31
Wesley
Really great to hear from you.
I hope that you are back with us again it has been too long.
Now we can return to our long pieces.
Yes I suppose my writing is from the same stream most times.
Problem I need feedback and need to know what people wish to talk about.
I have Eternity sitting here with an imagination that stretches beyond belief, just need a word or two or an ask for a write on a subject.
I find my normal writes are as you say, so later we will do some different stuff, just need coaxing..
Lovely to see you here, let us know what you are up to young horse whisperer,
Know that we think of you and are nosey,
Yours Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
swamp-witch
Fri, 2017-11-17 16:50
Ian,
Beautiful new title! Happy to read this one again.
Kelsey
Critique, don't comment.
Community guidelines: https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
To see our learning resources, click the "Curated Resources" link under the Resources tab in the top menu bar.
Sparrow
Fri, 2017-11-17 18:55
Dear Kelsey
Thank you for your welcome second visit.
I love your new picture it shows a truth of where you are, never fear to be alone in your eyes beats a heart that has become guarded from hurts, now you know of all these things and also know it is time for you to bloom, out there are many beautiful graces, now run and seek the best.
Yours as always Ian.xx
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti