Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

One Step...

One step does start the journey
Be it big or small
Large step or little one
If your legs are short or tall

It matters not, how long the trip
The path or trail you take
Enjoy the trek, the outing
In the woods or by the lake

The mind is full of twists and turns
Corridors and alleys
You can surely lose your way
There's mountains and the valleys

I never know just where I'll find
A story or what tale
I don't have to wander far
To see beyond the pale

Here's to good old fantasy
I see the humor and I joke
Reality is such a blast
But much better when you toke

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Another poem that just struck out on it's own and didn't follow the map I laid out for it!
Editing stage: 

Comments

my wealthy pal and i were in a huge city
and we did some good weed
then went into the mall for an adapter cable
for the dvd so we could get the surround sound
on the instal professional sound system
in the camper van
the mall was the most richest mall in toronto canada
right downtown
like four layers and it ran east west on all levels
north south....tons of walking
by then we had purchased clothes
we looked like russians
gym track suit top
stripped t tops
shades....
we were laughing at uptight
anal retentive people
and admiring the curvy young
women
we had to ask everyone
and it was a blast
the kiosk mall hall girls in long
black hot dresses
were so cool and helpful
we would get directions and
go twenty feet and forget
we got a cable
We watched Grand Budapest
Hotel with surround sound
I bought a coffee from some high
end coffee shop...
it was awesome.....

your poem is excellent
U just write
never make excuses
why your a king my friend

Mr Wolf!

I don't figure I need any. I don't smoke before driving or doing something that requires my full attention. Yes, it does make me lazy and I procrastinate. So what? I'm sixty-nine in another month and a half. I have a lot of pain and would rather use weed than opiates that make me constipated. I also have glaucoma and I haven't had a severe attack in a long time. When I quit weed for a while, I was using so much aspirin and ibuprofen that my stomach bled and I was ruining my kidneys. Now, I'm not constipated and cranky, but happy and loose. LOL. [My mind, that is] I thank you, my friend, for your support. ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

but I believe that here in the UK it is possible to be prescribed weed on medical grounds.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

to my mind this appears to be
a forced rhyme

legs are either short or long
perhaps it's
jamboxticated !!!!
poetry
as per the latest lady
may be...

you may like to pay heed
if there appears a need
after weed
I never it seed

force that line! It was being a bit recalcitrant and I beat it senseless and tied it in there anyway!
Intoxicated or not, the words do what I want or I toss them out on their butt. I really didn't see a problem with their legs being short or tall. I suppose I could have made them clinch in a long and bong, but I wanted to save the punch-line for last. LOL ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

in the states too. Just not in N.Y. state. The only way that you might get medical marijuana is in pill form and you have to be dying or very close. Our governor has made it very clear that he does not support it or will let it become otherwise as long as he is in office! Most certainly, he will not allow recreational use! Many of our communities have relegated the use and possession of it to a very low priority offense and usually you just get a fine for possession of less than a couple of grams. However sales or use while driving, can mean loss of license, jail time and huge fines. Governor Cuomo is very popular here as he is done much to rehab the upstate economy and although taxes are high, has a very good approval rating and will probably stay in office as long as he wants. So...
Anyways, thanks for the read and the comment. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

I never did partake. I remember my eldest brother getting into quite a state as I steadfastly refused to join in the use of joints at an open air concert. Fortunately his friends were a little more laid back and managed to calm him down. A suggestion for the first verse only (always important to start how one means to go on).
That second line could read something like
Be it short or long
and could therefore rhyme with something like
You really can’t go wrong.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.