Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Don’t Mind Me

if I spent my whole life dreaming
I wouldn’t hurt a soul
you can have your real world
and the bell for whom it tolls
fly the squareness of your blanket
from your stuck and steady pole
use the iron in your magnate
for the shoeing of your foal
you can push the evil button
and blow your erstwhile horn
your achievements are bereavements
golden medals made of corn

so batter down your hatches
and tear at things you’ve torn
make up things convincing
while I’m dancing with the faun

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Great meter and rhyme
And wonderful wordplay

I really enjoyed this

the only glitch for me is the third verse 'you can have your real world' - just seems a beat short to my ear....

i like the theme - i think there are many of us who would rather be dancing with the faun...

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

what you say is worth a ponder

xxx

author comment

to a first year university poetry studies class and make them analyse the meanings.
Yes, I own my mean streak.

Seriously though, I feel the Donne reference somewhat at odds with the rest of the piece. Remember that quote starts "No man is an island, entire of itself; ... therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee."

Or is it that in the utter freedom of the realm of imagination each man is indeed an island?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.