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untitled till you say
soon the lights
will dim
clouds will
veil the stars
what then will the sun
do in the morning
to tear
the curtain apart
Editing stage:
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Comments
Keith Logan
Sat, 2016-11-26 01:00
This poem
has to be one of your best. It certainly demonstrates how good brevity can be.
Possible title: Daystar
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
lovedly
Sat, 2016-11-26 11:42
amen for your lovely thoughts
one of the breviest bestest
thanks NEOpoet
Sparrow
Sat, 2016-11-26 19:22
Loved
This depicts a transition of many things young Bard and well written.
We leave this plain to journey on after learning of physical things.
I always believe that there is a place where the children play and beyond, so we will see another sun where the skies are always as we think them to be and oh so many think things that are beyond our memories.
I fear not to walk without legs and see without eyes and feel without touch, come have a cup of tea with me I shall always be there in think,
Yours Ian..
PS:- I did comment and you missed it !!
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
lovedly
Sun, 2016-11-27 18:46
Thanks Ian
but you did not suggest a title
iron one
like AIR FORCE -1
Sparrow
Mon, 2016-11-28 01:48
Loved
My opening words are This depicts a "Transition" and is the same as what Alid suggested, cant stop have to go to hospital for my Bionic eye Du Du Du..
Yours Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
themoonman
Sat, 2016-11-26 09:03
well then ...
that is really good ...
needs a fitting title, something
special.
lovedly
Sat, 2016-11-26 11:44
it is the grace of wise neopoets
who have helped me to come to this pass
wish you will help label it
if as u say it's class
Geremia
Sat, 2016-11-26 11:52
Pure poetry, joe [Richard]
Pure poetry,
joe [Richard]
lovedly
Sat, 2016-11-26 23:58
my dear joe
its a lovely day
seeing you
hope ur keeping
well too
alidzain
Sun, 2016-11-27 12:04
loved
To me, this IS your BEST poem. Suggested title -Transition
Alid
lovedly
Sun, 2016-11-27 12:41
beautiful suggestion
thanks lets wait for some more
another posted as untitled
lovedly
Sun, 2017-09-24 22:14
BREVITY for new comers mostly uplifted
is real poetry