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The Lost And The Damned

I, a demi-poet
write almost poems
and hang them on a cloud

a gloomy
dooms-day sky,
full of such strangeness,
reigns over me
perpetually
dripping
downers
and upward floaters
eerily
passing in the night
lonely, lonely
drifting
forever some
to holes
bleaker than never
flailing
against the knell
cringing
the gravity
of abandonment

in silent screams

drooping
...impotence

and shame

....................

comment from: Ion Thesky

I remember a song "Its Raining Men" by some fat ladies
putten and kippys rain on me, the giggles are not fake there so no fat ones get laughed at only play they say.
a bit of edit will help the attention this needs

from the tea garden
and the puttens and kippys thereof

Ion

.....................

reply: Hi, Ion

thanks for the visit. I don't like tea, but you are nice.
I will edit some when I figure out what you said

sincerely,
Al

...................

comment from: Ether

rain, reign
the mix
invigorating

aerating
sky mind
a land mine
of a kind

in and out it drifts

our time is
the season of the
which,
one
can never know always

thank you
Ether

.....................

comment from: Stynofcaroline

I was walking through the wood
thinking of then, when all was young
I was too, but like the trees, I got old
but the sky remains the same
reminding me always
of the ever remembered days
of yore, and as of yet, untold tales
unfolding, as when a child
like a worn, snugly, patchwork quilt
(Wow, I think I just wrote a free verse poem) lol

your poem moved me (indoors)
yes, it does get cold in the south! lol

Styn

.....................

comment from: aussified

not my cup 'o tea mate
poems about poems head straight up your arse
find something else to write about

stop whinging
I suggested you read more
I meant poetry, not billboards

cheese,
Aussie

....................

comment from: Lloydofrussco

I love the word "strangeness", the rest are good though, regards LL

LL

...................

comment from: Judithannith

I love it, but do you really need that last word there
"shame" is implied somewhere. Why the repetition
why, oh why, oh why?
just a thought. I like tea. I read your reply to Ion
but some don't, it's your choice

as always.
Judi

...................

reply: to all who have commented

thanks. I feel so much more like a real poet
but the list still scares me....the list of DOOM!
lost poems damned by less than faint praise, to a dungeon of pitiless gloom!
Oh! the calamity!...and still I weep for the fallen; the bitterness overwhelming.

anyway, with deep and abiding admiration for you all,
Al

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
for those who don't readily recognize parody...this be one
Editing stage: 

Comments

I love discarded shopping lists
especially those with no checks
or lines...and crib notes
like shopping is an exam
and our local home grown
magic marker tags and
ongoing formats in washrooms
between the needle users
and righteous
a small town..we all pretend
to get along

I didnt expect to find this gem
going over all this evening
on a quiet Friday

this is excellent parody

thank U!

please excuse these quick and short replies
just trying to fulfill my obligations for now.
will be more socially conscious in future corresponcence

Al

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