Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Mr Ferntree's garden wall.

Mr Ferntree wept in the kitchen,
for a million lost souls
he never knew, but read about
or heard of on the radio, washed up
on languid green shoals

The lichen, saxicoline creeping
through his walled garden,
"Keeps them out, those runts want mine"
he eyed his rhubarb crop
with rubbed red pride

It's pink promise and green poison
they would never get through, though somehow
he envied them, like the fish in his emerald pond
in their harsh, short fates,
lives in brutality

Creations of the monstrous packed towers,
overshadowing his wall
at least, it was a kinder freedom
the prison within a prison, they
never complained at all

Years went by and his kitchen window
bathed in lemon yellow, from the
the filtered sun at dawn
darkened to grey of winter and age,
shadow fingers formed a cage

Then he saw one: another like him in youth
with sunken eyes, but hooded and embroidered
and inscribed, by a corporations truth,
clambered and clamored for a view
just a look, over his wall

And what was left, this remnant of England
stared back no more, but silence
palpabable, came from within
the six foot frame of lawn,
until from some distant schoolyard

Arose the English roar:

"walls that hide behind you"
"walls that try to blind you"
"wherever you creep..."
"up our street.."
"walls that seek to find you."

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
Terence stamp, Pink Floyd and too many late nights watching documentaries of urban decay - result.
Editing stage: 

Comments

there was an animation cinema
film of a giant who lived in his castle
the curious children bent on meeting
him...wont spoil it..but it was not
the cartoon mash ups of today
but something a little darker and
complex...when we used our minds
more...when people of all ages
tended gardens...

Floyd...ah a good film and album
It hit our packed then gen of the
middle sixties like a dark garish
wave...and thank God!
literally the students council
were allowed too play this in
the mornings when students
would swarm in from the buses
come september or from their
cars.....It wasnt heavy..it wasnt
punk..it was something cold
warrish...it was perfect then!!

great descriptors Chris
been in private homes as
a contractor working on the
heating units..Woodstove
s chimney sweep! when I
was in twenties...
and was in the poverty prisons
looking for car parts in eighties
for chums gto..they had them
in a stripped out clunker in
the garage under the proverbial
blue tarp...scariest moment for
me having not grown up with
city experience like a project
no parts worthy...just the memory

thank U!

One more, I loved Scaletrix and total control racing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KT2mLi7ldew

I think this is seriously funny :)

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

There are so many stories hidden behind the laced curtains of a hundred thousand terraced streets, histories that gnaw away at the ages like Larkin's coastal fringe. I was thinking of the "The Wall" having recently watched it when I wrote this, not based on anyone in particular, just memories of inner city Nottingham - endless roaming through the grey concrete abandon..
Some goodies..
This is the new punk poet sound of Nottingham **LANGUAGE WARNING!** brutal bleak, honest, funny, I grew up around people like these guys! It's like the street finally got let in to the BBC:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFFWF1DnZKM

BTW " the dealer's tipped up" is Nottingham slang for being a gang member..

The most intense, observational working class new sound to come out of the UK in years:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEYYI1ii0AU

Translation: NHS: National health service Jobseeker: someone on unemployment benefit, now uses as a derogatory term
Doesn't get much more real...hilarious!

Thanks for the other comments BTW will catch up soon, on late shift..

Cheers.
Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

I got that one...
always the clash of clans
socieities shist

I wonder how much Berlin wall
got to waters?
even their use of the crashing
plane..the inflated pigs resembling
barrage balloons
an american humor take on that
American humor like German
was prevalent in the bunkers
and officer rooms
The trebant on wires
at the big shows..

so much more...

Thank U for the links Chris

Esker!

Glad it struck a chord...so to speak. Have to say, I wasn't that into Genesis, so will have to look that one up. Loved Led Zep though, and poor old bonzo the drummer was a great inspiration. I think that era of music in the UK was the inspiration that launched a million bedroom songwriters and poets.
Loved the tag line btw, I think time spent behind a lawnmower does the same thing, although you do tend to mow in circles...:)

Thanks and take care.

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.