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Faith
My faith was never a beacon of light
more of a flickering candle at night.
My Father’s beliefs were always strong
perhaps somehow I got it all wrong.
In spite of those hymns I love to sing
for me it’s more a borderline thing.
But I see things in a different way
I don’t spend time praying each day.
For me God’s love is practical too
shared with others in the things we do.
Through help we give to those in need
whoever they are, whatever their creed.
A man lies bleeding in the dark of night
prayer won’t save him and make him alright.
A helping hand will, so that’s what I’ll do
and he may feel God’s love there too.
Maybe I’m right or maybe I’m wrong
but this is how me and faith get along.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
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Comments
jane210660
Wed, 2016-08-24 13:04
Like this very much, besides
Like this very much, besides the message (which I suspect quite a few will identify with), it reads well.
Perhaps one tiny suggestion, imho first verse, fourth line, I would take 'all' out. I think it reads better without and isn't really needed for the meaning.
Just my opinion. Jx
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Timbo
Thu, 2016-08-25 04:05
thanks
Thanks Jane for the feedback, Tim
alidzain
Wed, 2016-08-24 14:31
Hi there!
Good one. Keep on writing.
Alid
Timbo
Thu, 2016-08-25 04:04
ALID
Alid, thank you, Tim
Timbo
Thu, 2016-08-25 04:07
thanks
Thank you Mark, Tim
Vivovon
Thu, 2016-08-25 11:29
A good point
A very pleasant presentation. Read smooth and clear. Spiritual, mystic, ritual or pragmatic conditions may be regulated by God gene(s) as hypothesized by Dean Hamer. If interested, you take a look at it at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_gene.
xxxxx
Timbo
Fri, 2016-08-26 04:58
thank you
Thank you for commenting Vivovon.
Tim