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The End Is Near

Submitted by brittle light on Sat, 2016-05-21 19:22

A bunch of
woo woo wizards
and wiccan bitches
whipped up a batch
of lizard stew.

To lunch, or brunch?
hatched a feud.
They argued the dickens.
A schism ensued

Curse and spell
flew fast and wild.
Alas, none were felled.
Being tellingly beguiled,

they quickly disbanded,
except for a few;
landing fellowships in
bullshit at SF state U.

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Sun, 2016-05-22 00:28

humor isms

reminds me of some positions
held by the lofty and the lower
branches of social clingery

political landings...people
at a lunch stand at a social
run establishment...sell
a sandwhich a day
But on paper it looks good
a lunch counter with only
three stocked items
if on a good day!
and the others...
wagging the dog for
intrepid young minds
on stage behind lecturns
but a good stipend
and a live performance
is way better then
u tube on a tablet

I get too meet these
strange gurus in passing
all over...
they call me the ghost
and my own Babbleisms
give them wide eyed
starry starts to their
mind bunnies
so their hounds can
race through forests
they forgot they had

and I just peruse the
dreamland
for muses meak
and many
here....finding many

the world is strange
and I like that!

Fantastic Write
good ol SF
I love their sixties
surfer rock
and I believe
this is where the
fog came in
on little cats feet
my long long ago
intro too far out
poetry in public
school!

thank U!

brittle light

Tue, 2016-05-24 21:47

politically, sociologically,

politically, sociologically, the state of intellectual mediocrity across the board(s) of educational institutions...inanity runs rampant...

this poem did not capture, or address all that I wanted to imply..but it was still kind of funny to me!

thanks for responding,

author comment

Esker

Tue, 2016-05-24 23:12

No I got it!

it would be weird if it all made sense.....when I realized that society had its madness inherent
it made poetry seem mediocre...but I continue...Listening to surf tunes...rewired with its edge
seems to be fitting my latest persona....coffee cigarettes while the dog naps...the ex naps.
the world is another tomorrow from today.....about to head off too dream time...In reality
I do have expectations from others to fulfill...but Im pretty bohemian of late!!

thank U!

mand

Wed, 2016-05-25 04:34

Very clever poem - I can't

Very clever poem - I can't say I'm familiar with the subject, but got the gist. ( which is a compliment to your poem, because I don't always get the gist. Lol ).

One suggestion: ( just a thought - remembering I am no expert )

Curse and spell
flew fast and wild.
Alas, none were felled.

" Being tellingly beguiled, ....." I found this line interrupted the flow - a bit long. not sure how it could be shortened ( if indeed it need's to be ).

Anyway - I really liked it :)

Love to you

Mand xxx

brittle light

Fri, 2016-05-27 20:28

Hi Mand

Like pick up notes in music; notes of a phrase that come before the end of the preceding bar, that's how I read the line(s) in question. The words used here are also part of the flow problem...but I can "musically " justify the line in my own mind. I never know how a reader will "phrase" it at first read. I wish that these kinds of situations never arose at all...but they do. Ah!! what to do, what to do!

thanks for the compliments, glad you got the gist

regards,

author comment

Neopoet

The End Is Near