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Who's Callin' Who Out

Submitted by brittle light on Sun, 2016-04-24 16:29

                                                                  

                                                            say what?

                                                        I can't hear you

                                                    lil' dude, I don't read lips

                                               come on, spit it out mealy mouth

                                           wanna start raggin' on me?,  do ya, huh?

                                                you're about to piss me off, boy

                                                        blurt it out, or I swear...            

                                                       "SHUT THE FUCK UP"

                                                               say what?!!!

Comments

Rula

Sat, 2016-04-30 09:57

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This is fun. I loved the spontaneous language of this one until the f*** word. Well! I think you know me. But I have really enjoyed the read.
Thank you for sharing.

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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brittle light

Wed, 2016-05-11 04:15

brittle light's picture

thanks for checking this out.
I know I am late in responding, but sometimes I don't want a piece to keep popping up at the top of the list...so I wait till any other comments might show up so I can answer all at once...sometimes the wait is in vain! (LOL)

I know you are shy about some words...I'm not, but I don't believe in trigger warnings!

Al

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mand

Wed, 2016-05-11 05:33

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I think I'll show my grandson this! He's sixteen, I think he will relate very well to the rhetoric. This is an honest write - I actually feel like this sometimes. Lol so I can relate to it as well.

Thanks for sharing :)

Love Mand xxx

brittle light

Sat, 2016-05-14 05:23

brittle light's picture

thanks for responding. I don't typically write in strict forms (as most poets here don't)...but this form is pretty open ...just line lengths, like nonets. I got the idea to try one from reading Rula's version.
I'm glad you could relate somewhat.

I felt the same after finishing this as I did with a nonet I wrote long ago....I tried, it was fun, yay!

thanks again,

Al

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jane210660

Sat, 2016-05-14 13:20

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Love it and have to say (blushingly) it's written in language I do on occasion use :-) Jxx

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brittle light

Sat, 2016-05-14 15:04

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from boyhood playground slang to the Kings English, and everything in between,
it's all useful to me.

thanks for responding, we all like compliments.

Al

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