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Lady Of The Light.
You were always the faithful one
with a saviour in your heart
you had seen the light of the Lord
from the very start.
even in your darkest days
and the autumn of your life
you never lost faith in the Lord
lady of the light.
Now you have left this life
and in us a memory
but we all think of you
and how you used to be
you had been the special one
when you lived your life
with a special kind of love
lady of the light.
And when I look back on life
I often think of you
looking out your window
the way you used to do
watching children go off to school
in the morning light
smiling to the world outside
lady of the light.
Now you are there in Heaven
and back again once more
with those who you had loved
who had to go before
always forever the faithful one
when you lived your life
for you had seen the light of the Lord
lady of the light.
Comments
Timbo
Wed, 2011-01-19 11:30
Thank you for your thoughful
Thank you for your thoughful comments which are always appreciated. Glad to see you back on her and hope all goes well with the course you are planning to do.
take care,
Tim
Hooded Stranger
Tue, 2011-01-18 13:24
Timbo
Timbo,
great tribute and tight rhyming sequence too.
I always find it hard to critique a poem when it is a tribute and clearly written with love and affection. That said, I just wonder if stanza three should have followed the other stanza's by having the last word of line six and line eight being 'Life & Light'. You used 'Light' twice in that stanza and that stood out as being out of sequence.
It's your poem and a wondeful one it is too, but I just wanted to mention that stanza as I am keen on uniformity.
Thanks for sharing my friend,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
Timbo
Wed, 2011-01-19 11:39
Thanks again for commenting
Thanks again for commenting and I see what you mean about the third stanza, which was originally a chorus which repeated, but I only left it like this as I thought it would never be a song. Shame!
take care,
Tim
Hooded Stranger
Thu, 2011-01-20 11:55
Tim
Tim,
thanks for clarifying stanza three. It isn't obvious that it was a chorus as it didn't differ much from the other stanza's. Stanza three is just as powerful as the other verses, so I would suggest writing a new chorus with a slightly different stance.
It could be a song very easily. Happy to assist if you ever choose to evolve it from a poem into lyrics.
Kind regards,
HS
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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
Timbo
Thu, 2011-01-20 04:09
many thanks Shirley.
many thanks Shirley.