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A Prayer At Christmas

Submitted by Timbo on Tue, 2015-12-22 06:00

Children snuggled up in their beds
trying to rest those sleepy heads.
Listening out for sleigh bell noise
as Santa delivers Christmas toys.

Excited children, wrapping paper torn
opening presents on Christmas morn.
Pretty lights glistening on the tree
it’s how we like Christmas to be.

But say a prayer at Christmas for
those caught up in a world of war.
Living lives ruled by conflict and hate
in places they just want to escape.

For those without a proper home
and anyone struggling to live alone.
People who live with a troubled mind
where happiness is so hard to find.

So eat your Turkey, drink some wine
dance and be joyful, have a good time.
And say a prayer at Christmas too
for those less fortunate than you.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Tue, 2015-12-22 20:07

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said it better! Yes, we must be mindful of those less fortunate than we. Pray for those who have nothing to sustain them and give to those who are In need. So nice to see that there are some that still think of the ones that the world often forgets about. ~ A happy and joyful season to you! ~ Geezer

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Timbo

Wed, 2015-12-23 04:34

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Thanks for the comments Geezer. Much appreciated, I've had a lot going off this year which has taken me away from writing, so it's nice to get comments on my 'comeback' effort.
May I take the opportunity to wish you and all those around in USA, a very Happy Christmas from over here in Nottingham, England.
Best wishes, Tim

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Sparrow

Sat, 2016-01-09 11:48

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A good write and I hope we see more of your work this year, I see you live just a few miles from us here in Sileby, One day we may have time to talk one on one, but will see how this year pans out,
Take care and our best to yours this year, Ian and Family..

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Unconditional love to you all.
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Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Timbo

Tue, 2016-01-12 09:07

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Thank you Sparrow, and for the encouragement,
wishing you and yours a happy and healthy new year.
kind regards,
Tim

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scribbler

Sat, 2016-01-09 13:16

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A good Christmas poem with a message we should all heed. A few ideas you might think about : stanza 3, line 3 Change living to their...stanza 3, line 4 change just want to yearn... Stanza 4 line 2 change anyone to all
Just a few thought which you are of course free to use or not as you see fit. Enjoyed the poem either way........stan

Timbo

Tue, 2016-01-12 08:57

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Thank you scribbler. Tim

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wesley snow

Sat, 2016-01-09 17:12

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I hope you hang around for a while.
I loved the poem and appreciate the sentiment. Here on site is Rula who lives a peaceful life in the UAE, so close to such violence. I pray for her every day.
As to the poem, I would have used a more consistent meter, but that's just me. It's a lovely poem..

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Timbo

Tue, 2016-01-12 08:58

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Thanks Wesley, I have also just come into contact with Rula for the first time.
Tim

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Roscoe Lane

Sun, 2016-01-10 03:29

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Like this, is it not a shame that the most troubled parts of the world. Are where Jesus was supposed to have lived. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Timbo

Tue, 2016-01-12 09:00

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Hi Roscoe, Thanks for your comments and yes it is a shame.
best wishes for 2016,
Tim

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