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The View

Come along to the view.
Feast on meadows of dew.
Surrounded by broken limbs
And spilled crimson dreams.

Lay steps on
The terrace unwinding,
With shivers contracting.

Ode to the..
The lost soul of man,
The corruption of children,
And the clipped wings of dames.

All cries of mysterious blame
Vicariously re-shame,
And reframe
Notions of blue skies
And painted sunshine.

Beauty in flesh decays,
While wickedness
Appraises the day.

Among the balcony grove.
Alone with a view.
Fleeting sincerity
Creams wounds.

Lovely whispers
Blow smoke
Into the hollow reflection
Of a maze untamed.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


Your use of random rhyme was evocative. I don't much care for verso libre, but this is rich in metaphor and the language use is superb.
Did I mention I liked it?
I'd offer advice, but I wouldn't change a thing. You even proofread it (one of my pet peeves). No typographical errors.
Where have you been all my life?

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Thank you. I'm glad that you enjoyed the poem and I appreciate your encouraging words.

author comment

we must remain silent
such a word on ur poetry
is kindness

Thank you.

author comment

I could feel the poem move
the descriptors..time
pondering and delved
maze untamed....

thank U

Thank you for your comment.

author comment
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