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Hobie (double ballade workshop)

Submitted by Joan Rolls on Wed, 2015-11-25 02:59

I found a new and gentle joy
by accident one winter’s day
I saw a man on his new toy
so silent, pedalling away
oh dare I ask? I should, I say..
so what is that? I’d like to know
it looks such fun I want to play
so pedal, paddle, off I go.

A man, a maid, a girl or boy
can drift and dream of life today
this swish of oars, a cunning ploy
so silent, pedalling away
I disappear across the bay
around the bend where lilies grow
and shady spots with banks of clay
so pedal, paddle, off I go

The lake so still, I near the buoy
and slowly float to cause delay
the swans sail past, I don’t annoy
so silent, pedalling away
such peace is here I want to stay
and gaze into the depths below
but time dictates the yay or nay
so pedal, paddle off I go

At last I have my own, hooray!
my Hobie kayak don’t you know
one silent swoosh, I'm far away
so pedal, paddle, off I go

Editing stage: 
Editing - draft
Workshop: 
Storytelling in Verse (sempiternal): The Ballade

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2015-11-25 20:59

Geezer's picture
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so well versed in this Ballade thing that I would like to critique this, but I do know that I like it. It seems to just roll of the tongue and flow rather smoothly. I especially like the refrain of ; sp pedal, paddle, off I go. Very nice work! ~ Gee
And you're a Pink Floyd fan!

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Joan Rolls

Wed, 2015-11-25 21:38

Joan Rolls's picture

Lol. Thanks. Im not familiar with it either, challenging bloody things! And yes...Pink Floyd are the best. Saw them live when i was 14 and that was that lol.

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