I.
the summer reminds me of him
the warm rays of the sun
are his golden eyes
hitting my skin
with it’s gentle harshness
the warm wind is
his caress
a year ago
we were in love
or he was with me
I not with him
and he not with me
but the idea of me
imprinted in his mind
until I became real
and then he became real

II.
that night of a new beginning
flesh awakened and words
left unsaid
he was so new
it was all so new
tongue-tied and limbs
intertwined
in awe
of his mind
and his skin
I became real and
he became real again

III.
floods of desire
in falling for him,
or his flesh
in awe still,
but shaken from my fear
he becoming everything and all
I ever dreamed of
but unsure of his dream
In me
I was real
and he was more real

IV.
together in oneness
I was his
And he was mine
I was in love
and he-
no longer with the idea of me
I was so real
and he was so real

V.
together again
hurt but still there
he was real
and I was less real

VI.
together in flesh
but not in soul
didn't know where to reach
to bring him back
not knowing
if he could come back
or where he was at all
I wasn't real
but he was still real

VII.
winter came
and froze over his heart
I kept myself warm
blanketed under my memories
reassuring myself,
that I have to be real
longing for when
I would see him again
until I was crushed under
layers of
ice
left wondering
“when did I stop becoming real?”

VIII.
it’s summer again
it’s still sinking in
that I’m not real
but he’s still real
please,
don’t come back
with the sun