Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Musings of an android( emotions in metaphors workshop entry)
What manner of communication is this
your eyes do overflow with water
and what of this gesture
one human placing it’s mouth on the other
such a cacophony of sound
being emitted by this tiny human
and why do they jump up and down
on their bottom ends
Are all humans such a dark shade of red
I expect that they might being
to breathe fire
would they not burn up in flames
I did not think it possible
that the orifice from which sound emits
could stretch from side to side
what is this contortion
Last few words:
Hiding emotions in Metaphors
for some reason the workshop menu does not have this listed
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
alidzain
Sat, 2015-09-12 02:47
Chrys
Stanza 3 line 2, is the last word supposed to be ''being''?
Alid
China Blue
Sat, 2015-09-12 07:36
Alid
yes thank you will fix it now see even the ws leader makes mistakes
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
Rula
Sat, 2015-09-12 10:33
Hello Chrys
You need to choose the workshop's name from the drop-list window. I've just added your name to the list.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
China Blue
Sat, 2015-09-12 11:11
Rula
as I have explained to Wes I do not see my workshop listed on the drop down menu otherwise I would have as now I cannot post a poem to stream for another 16 hours I am well aware of how to post for a workshop but what am I to do if the site will not let me
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
Rula
Sat, 2015-09-12 12:06
Hello Chrys
I believe this is setting a clever example of what you wanted as a first assignment in this workshop.
Thanks for sharing.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
alidzain
Sat, 2015-09-12 17:00
Chrys
I suck at this big time. Still can't find a way to do it even after I've read yours.:c
Alid
Sparrow
Sat, 2015-09-12 19:27
Chrys
As I said to write about talking to or listening to an emotionless thing is as my computer, I have tried to write about it but it is very hard, I am going away now to join the Borg to learn of their ways lol..
Stanza 3 did not flow and seemed disjointed I shall wait to see what you think first,
Yours as always Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
scribbler
Tue, 2015-09-15 12:10
Android huh?
Very good choice. Beats the heck out of Spock lol. So, with an android it would merely require better programing to explain emotion but even with the programing and resultant proper reactions to emotions would the android ever fully understand what was going on? BTW lines 1 and 2 in stanza 3 need a bit of clarifying imho.........stan
wesley snow
Tue, 2015-09-15 14:30
You'll fix the typo...
the poem was "fun". An android is a marvelous idea. It made me think of Asimov's detective series.
I think you nailed the assignment.
What's next?
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about