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Stan, Trees by Philip Larkin (Right Word WS) (new)

Submitted by Ian.T on Thu, 2014-12-11 19:17

Have fun..LOVE..Stan
TREES by Philip Larkin

The trees are (bursting) into leaf
Like (whispers) almost being said
the recent buds (grow) and spread
their greenness is a kind of grief

Is it that they are (whole) again
and we (grow) old? No, they (will) too
their yearly trick of looking new
Is written down in rings of grain

Yet still the unresting (boughs) thresh
In full grown (splendour) every May
Last year (sweet) (memory) they seem to say,
Begin afresh, afresh, (enmesh)

With thanks to the original great poet,
Yours Ian.T

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Workshop with Stan, The previous part I missed but it was from an old thrashed poem, Yours Ian
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Workshop: 
"The Right Word"

Comments

scribbler

Sun, 2014-12-14 22:12

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Sometimes what makes a word "right" is that it maintains a poem's rhythm which a few of your fail to do. But other than that you've done well with a difficult exercise.........stan

Sparrow

Wed, 2015-06-17 10:56

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I missed this reply though I edited the original it became lost in this long corridor of verse, Yours with thanks, Ian.

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Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

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